Expressions of my heart

Who's the Leader?

2011-11-04T17:33:00.000-07:00

For the past month or so I've been dealing with a certain issue more than usual: trust. I wanted to trust God but I was so busy doin my own thing - what I wanted to do or thought was best, that I didn't bother to really spend much time in God's Word or talk to Him to see what He had to say or what direction in life He would have me go. I explained this to a friend recently: how I've been leading my own life and somehow need to let God take control again. My friend gave me a link to this song I'm going to share with you: (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIdFRe3d2yw). It's a pretty fantastic song by Lecrae about God taking the lead in our lives.

Listen for these lyrics:

...So let me just shadow you, let me trace your lines
Matter of fact, just take my pen, here, you create my rhymes
'Cause if I do this by myself, I'm scared that I'll succeed
And no longer trust in you, 'cause I only trust in me
And see, that's how you end up headed to destruction
Paving a road to nowhere, pour your life out for nothing
You pulled my card, I'm bluffing, You know what's in my hand
Me, I'm just going to trust you, You cause the dice to land
I'm in control of nothing, follow you at any cost
Some call it sovereign will, all I know is you the boss
Man, I'm so at ease, I'm so content
I'll play the background, like it's an instrument...

I was not doing well in one of my classes recently, and I knew it was my fault. Again, I had been taking the lead in my life. I really thought that I was not going to pass the class, and I was not going to graduate in May. But then I remembered Who created me - who created my mind, my hands, my feet. I remembered that with God's help, it is possible to study hard and learn what I needed to learn for the Final exam. The Final was Monday and I passed. I knew it was God. And even when I studied, I had such a peace that I can't explain. It's times like that that remind me of the trust I should always have in my Creator. He knows what's best for me, even when I don't. If it is best for me to graduate at a later date and have more time to process everything, then I should embrace that. If it is best for me to graduate in May, then I have to trust God that I will be ready (because I have a hard time believing I will).

Mark 4:40-41
And He (Jesus) said to them, "Why are you afraid? Do you still have no faith?" They became very much afraid and said to one another, "Who then is this, that even the wind and the sea obey Him?"

Spinning Out of Control (literally)

2011-10-12T15:50:00.000-07:00

I have had some crazy things happen lately. In the past few weeks I have locked my keys in the car, thought I failed a final (I didn't!), my windshield wipers broke while it was pouring, I had a baby cousin born (Jeremiah!), passed my Pediatrics class (with a B!), was late to one of my first clinicals, was late to another clinical this morning (two tardy's = an absence), had a very stressful first clinical at the hospital yesterday (though it ended really well), played the piano for a close friend's wedding, and lastly, this morning I lost control of my car on a roundabout. It was rainy and I was already veering right - my car spun 360 degrees and somehow backed into a ditch. Meanwhile, my car somehow turned off (not sure how) during the spin. My car turned back on and I went to clinicals, and I think my car is ok.

I wanted to mention those things above to stress the importance of these verses:

"Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:6-7)

I have not been trusting God as I should. He's been trying to get my attention and I seem to be too busy for Him. When He gives me little cues I need to listen to Him. A major reason for half of the things above is because I don't go to bed when God tells me to, or I don't leave early when He tells me to leave early. I would probably be amazed at the things God could do in my life if I just listened and obeyed Him more. God is always faithful and I need to focus on His Word more and trust Him. Yes, I have been having a rough time lately but I have seen God's grace in my life so many times. I want to be real with you (my friends and family) because it's possible appear to have it all together but really, I can be a mess! And I need God's grace and mercy in my life more than I know.
p.s. I've started sketching again. It's like a part of me lights up that I've been ignoring. Just thought I should mention. :)

(the Photo is from a beautiful rehearsal dinner I was asked to photograph this year)

How Much Will it Take?

2011-10-03T21:03:00.000-07:00

I haven't blogged in a while but wanted to say that God's been teaching me a lot lately and for that I am thankful. When He stops teaching me, or when I THINK He stops teaching me, it's really that I've stopped listening, and that's how it was for a little while (the last few weeks). I had a really stressful week at the end of my Pediatrics rotation, but thank the Lord I passed the class. I knew God was trying to get my attention. Here are verses I read this morning that shed some light:

"He humbled you and let you be hungry, and fed you with manna which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that He might make you understand that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by everything that proceeds out of the mouth of the LORD." (Deuteronomy 8:3)

That pretty much describes my last few weeks. God is teaching me that I need to live on His Word instead of everything else in this world. How much will it take for me to realize that?

(the photo is from a "French Garden" wedding I attended this summer)

Romans 1-2

2011-03-18T09:50:00.000-07:00

I just started reading through Romans and thought I'd share what I'm doing. It's pretty simple and it's something we learned at GCBI (Great Commission Bible Institute). We learned that one way to study the epistles is by underlining some of the main words in a passage to summarize the message the apostle was trying to give. There are some passages that give a lot of information to convey a point. The information is very important, but for studying purposes it can be helpful to pull out the main points. Here's a silly example of what sometimes happens in the epistles: "God, who... and... and... loves us". The process of pulling out the main points is helpful to me in learning it and also if I were to briefly look back on a passage I can get a quick summary to remind me of the content. Ok, here goes!: (These normally do not have to be full sentences, the point is to underline as little as possible, but for the purposes of this blog, I have full sentences for you, which make more sense to me anyway)

Romans 1-2
Paul to those in Rome (Saints): Grace and Peace. I thank God for you because [of] your faith. I mention you always in my prayers, asking that I may [come] to you, that we may be encouraged by each other's faith. I have often intended to come but have been prevented. I am eager to preach the gospel to you.

The gospel is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes. The wrath of God is against all ungodliness, [those] who suppress the truth. God is plain to them, because [He] has shown his eternal power and divine nature since the creation of the world, so they are without excuse. Their hearts were darkened and worshiped the creature rather than the Creator. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness, they are gossips,slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Judgment of God rightfully falls on those who practice such things. God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance. There will be tribulation for every human who does evil, but glory, honor, and peace for everyone who does good.

If you are a guide to the blind, a light for those in darkness, you then who teach others, do you not teach yourself?

Coughing

2011-01-12T10:34:00.000-08:00

I know this may sound crazy, but last night I was thinking of how amazing it is that we cough.

I've been getting over a cold/sore throat/cough/whatever you want to call it, and I was exercising in a room that just had its walls sanded. Well, you know how you're supposed to breathe through your nose? Well I didn't because it hurt, so I breathed through my mouth the whole time. At the end I got off because I started a crazy coughing fit where I almost thought I might never stop. Several minutes later when I could breathe again, I started thinking of how amazing our lungs were created. First off, our noses were created to help filter out a lot of stuff we don't even realize we're being protected from, and secondly, for the particles that do get into our lungs (like me breathing through my mouth), we have this cough mechanism that happens automatically to help us get it out! It's completely automatic and all I can do is comply and help get it out. I was coughing so hard you'd think my jugular veins would pop, or my stomach and neck muscles wouldn't be able to handle it, but they did. And then there's my lungs, inflating and deflating when my body told it to. Seriously, it is cool. I mean, it's kind of scary when you're having trouble taking a breath, but afterward it just reminds you of how you do it all the time and don't even realize how amazing it is. I mean, we even do it in our sleep! Anyway, I'm still sick but hopefully I'll be better soon. Just thought someone might appreciate my insight. :)

Now for a quick update: At the end of November my sister moved back home! I've been the "only child" for 6 years so it's definitely a change but a good one. She's so outgoing and lively and it's good to have family back together. About the same time my uncle moved to Iraq for a year for work. Mom's been feeling SO much better and went back to work. Ry and Anna-Laura came for Christmas which was wooonderful. Me, I got to go dancing 5 times during the break so I'm very happy! And only by the grace of God I passed my first semester of Nursing school! For a while my grade was an 80% and an 80% is required to pass, BUT I passed with a B in my hardest, 8 credit class, and my last exam was postponed to last Friday and I ended up with an A in that class! I just started the second semester and it's going to be a wild one. I have 12 hour clinical days on Thursdays! Yikes! I may just be disappearing for a while... but I'll come back in May!

Even when we fail, God is still faithful...

2010-11-06T08:51:00.000-07:00

After the Israelites finished building the wall of Jerusalem, Nehemiah proclaims this message: (Based off Nehemiah 9)

You alone are Lord.
You chose Abram and made a covenant.
You fulfilled Your promise,
for You are righteous.
You saw our father’s affliction,
You heard their cry.
You performed signs and wonders,
You hurled their pursuers into the depths.
You led them,
You were their light.
You spoke to them and gave them just ordinances and true laws.
You provided bread and brought forth water.

But, they acted arrogantly.
They became stubborn.
They refused to listen.
They did not remember your deeds.

But You are a God of forgiveness, Gracious and compassionate, Slow to anger, abounding in lovingkindness.
You did not forsake them.

Even then, they made idols, and gave it credit.

But You did not forsake them.
You led them.
You gave your Spirit.
You gave manna and water.
You provided clothes.
You gave them land.
You made their sons numerous.

But they became disobedient
They forsook Your law.
They killed your prophets.
They committed blasphemies.

But when they cried to You,
You heard them.
You gave them deliverers.

But they did evil again.

Yet when they cried to You again,
You heard them.
You rescued them.
You pointed them toward Your law.

Yet they acted arrogantly.
They did not listen, but sinned.
They were stubborn.

However, you stayed with them.
You pointed them toward Your law.

Yet they would not listen.

Nevertheless, in Your great compassion You did not make an end of them or forsake them, for You are a gracious and compassionate God.

So now, our great and mighty God, do not let our hardship seem insignificant before You. Be our rescue.
However, You are Just in all that has come upon us; For You have dealt faithfully, but we have acted wickedly.

(Nehemiah ends by signing this document along with the names of the leaders, the Levites and the priests.)

-Even when we fail, God is still faithful and willing to accept us. "What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? May it never be! ...so now present your members as slaves to righteousness, resulting in sanctification [becoming more like Christ]" (Romans 6:15,19b)

God's Workings...

2010-10-27T19:22:00.000-07:00

Ok, before I go to bed, I want to tell you a story...

Yesterday mom wasn't feeling well so she needed me to take some of Ashley's Senior photos for her. We went to a lake nearby and took a lot of really neat pictures. I was nervous since I've never done Senior photos before, and I didn't have time to prepare, but it was awesome! The lighting was perfect, the fall colors were perfect, and Ashley was a great model! While we were there, I saw a boy who went to my old church, and I also saw a guy who works at the John Tyler Library. It's neat to run into people all around Richmond. Anyway, we came home and I realized...

... I did not have one of mom's camera lenses. I mean one of her big expensive ones. I left it at the lake. I ran back to look for it and first people I saw was a couple from church. They looked all around with me. Then I ran into a lady who I remember from Chick-fil-a a few times and she helped me look everywhere. But, no lens. I went to school and thought, I'm going to just have to buy my mom a couple hundred dollar lens. My head was pounding, I had 15 drug logs to do, I was pretty pitiful. By 9pm I was done and checked my email. I had the most awesome surprise...

... the boy from my old church sent me an email, telling me he had my lens!!! He even said he'd give it to his brother to give to me at John Tyler the next day! I just couldn't believe it. I'd had a rough day at school, an awful night of homework, and God completely gave me that gift he never had to. I just had to say that because I've been pretty emotionally drained the past few days and it was so good to see God bless me in that way.

A couple more random things: everyone failed the test on Monday, but they gave me back some points so now I got a D. I still don't think it's right but I can't change that. It'll just make me trust God that much more.

Also, Mom is still feeling poorly but has some good days. They've figured out what's gone wrong but it's just going to take a long time to get back to normal.

Cleo has not been doing too well. It's sad and I wish I could do something, but I really can't be with her more than I already am (a few hours on Sat). She does let me read Scripture to her which is amazing.

Saturday Mom and I did engagement photos for my good friend, Val. I am so honored to get to be a part of it!

Today was my first day of clinicals. Ahhhhh it was crazy but it went well, I think. I have so many questions. The first thing I got to do was take out a Foley Catheter. I have to say, that was my favorite part of the day.

Much better.

2010-09-29T10:38:00.000-07:00

These past two weeks have been so different - so much better. I kept asking God to help me focus less on myself and more on the people in my classes and more on doing God's will. Anyway, mom thinks my awkward week has something to do with me not feeling well and she may be right, but it definitely made me question my motives for things. I'm probably being vague but I hope that's ok. Anyway, there are some really neat people in the Nursing Program. Some of them have been such an encouragement to me and really light up my day. For example, this one girl, Sara, has been such a sweetheart to me. I hadn't been feeling well all last weekend and was behind on my studying for a test on Monday. We were at Sara's house studying and even though I hadn't told her, she asked me if everything was allright. I know it's a little thing, but being a quieter person, people don't always notice when I'm feeling badly. And even when I'm not in any of her classes, she'll stop by and say hi to me and even give me a hug. It's funny how such little things can mean so much. I just hope that sometimes I'm that kind of person to someone else. I just hope that somehow God can use me to show His love to someone else. I'm not always thinking about it - I have to consciously remind myself during the day.

Anyway, last Sunday night we had Discipleship and Leadership with the youth. It was AWESOME. I'm so excited for these kids! They were talking about what we should do during our youth group time and how to help keep each other accountable - and THAT is not an easy thing to do, especially with their crazy school schedules. I pray that God will really work in their (and my!) hearts this year as He reveals His Word to them. I'm super excited and hope I can stay involved during this school year - though it will be hard. I didn't do very well on my test on Monday but I'm trusting that it doesn't necesarily mean I will continue in that way. I have not been in God's Word as much lately but I'm still reading Ezekiel as well as start Acts! I'll update again later! (p.s. we just got into administering medications and boooy is it going to be complicated!!!)

Awkward.

2010-09-20T17:45:00.000-07:00

That word explains in a nutshell how I've felt at school the past week. It's the strangest thing. It feels like high school all over again! Why can't I seem to be myself around people at school? Why can't I just forget about myself and build relationships that will bring Glory to God? I bring this up here because it has been on my mind so much that I know it's a problem. Anything other than God that draws my attention this much can't be good - it then becomes an "idol". See, if I wasn't thinking so much about how awkward I am, I could spend more time thinking of ways to bless others in the class, right? It's so hard though. I don't know why.

But of course, I have had some great blessings: there are a few people here and there who have been very friendly and kind to me. The first day I met a girl (from the ROC!) who invited me to study with another girl and it has been so helpful, and I love talking to them. Then, there's a group (not in my lab) who invited me to a "picnic" for lunch, so we've done that the past few Fridays. And when I go to the library, I read in a room with a girl and guy in the program. So it sounds like I have no excuse for how I feel, but still it's there. I would just LOVE to get past all this silly stuff and be who God wants me to be.

The Nursing Program in general has been really neat. It started a month ago. I have school Mon-Fri and study in the library from about 2-8pm each day. It's great though, because I still have a bunch of homeschooling friends who go there. Then there's our labs which have been a lot of fun and next month we start clinicals in the hospital! I have some interesting stories already :) and I really like what we've been learning. I got an A on my first test! God really as been my help, as always, and deserves all the glory. This was just a rough week.

Bound by my own "To-Do" list

2010-07-26T20:29:00.000-07:00

I do believe that I feel somewhat bound/constricted by my own "To-Do" list. If I don't make one, nothing gets done, but if I make one, I feel upset and guilty when I don't get much done. When I do get things done, it's so delightful and joyous to fill in the boxes on the side. It's a strange relationship I have with merely a piece of paper and pen.

You know what I love though? Knowing that no matter how I feel at the end of the day, I know the truth:

That no matter how much I fail at life, I have a God who loves me and made my relationship right with Him by sending His Son to take the punishment for my sin. Lately I've been thinking a lot about God's love for us. The other day I heard someone say that it's easy to grow up hearing, "God loves me", and take it for granted. I think often, "God loves me? Of course He does!" and then realize, "wait, God loves me? That doesn't make sense. I'm nothing compared to how holy and great He is". Knowing that God loves a wretched sinner like me does make it easier to love those who we view as sinners (which is sad anyway, because we all are). Anyway, I've been thinking about this lately, and a million other things. Satan really has a great time filling up my schedule and head with so many things I don't make any progress. Oh it's sad, but like I said. I need to focus on the TRUTH. You should too.

p.s. I start Nursing school in one month. SO NERVOUS!

p.s.s. I wish I was in that painting! (Seen at the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts in Richmond)

Who does good?

2010-07-11T20:22:00.001-07:00

I've been a little out of it lately. I like to be busy, I love to go on vacations, and I love to spend time with friends, but really, it's gotten a little out of hand. Thankfully, God's finally gotten my attention and I've started reading His Word more lately, and talking to Him more, but somehow, my summers tend to fill up with so much business (but still wonderfulness) that I say yes simply because I'm free and because they're things I can't do after Nursing school starts. It's so easy to forget God in all this though. I may talk about Him but not TO Him. And seriously, going on vacations and skipping church on Sunday is NOT a cool thing. I need to be taught God's Word. I NEED it every morning. I just have to convince my selfish body that just because most mornings I'd rather go straight to the computer and edit some more beautiful wedding photos (aka Kirsten and David's photos!), which will soon be up, I need to spend time in His Word FIRST.

Anyway, God has been so faithful to me. He really has been pursuing me in such a beautiful way. He really wants me to follow Him and I believe it grieves His heart when I don't. I believe that, but I also know that there's nothing special about me that would make Him want me except for the fact that I'm His and He made me. I just have to get that through my head because I sometimes become so self focused it makes me sick - and I think I'm all that special, deserving of glory. Uck I hate when I feel that way and it happens all the time, mostly when I stop reading Scripture. When I start reading it again, I'm reminded over and over again of how the only good in me is what God does through me. Everything else is purely for my own selfish gain. I'm coming to realize that now. I don't know if I wrote it right, but it's true. I never quite understood the verse that says, "There is none righteous, not even one" (Romans 3:10) until recently. No one on his own can do good, it's only through Christ that we can do good. I still don't completely understand that, but I'm ok with that.

~...because by the works of the law no flesh will be justified in His sight; for through the law comes the knowledge of sin. (Romans 3:20)
~Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death? Thanks be to God through Jesus Christ our Lord! (Romans 7:24-25)
~For the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 6:23)
~But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh in regard to its lusts. (Romans 14:14)
~But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved) (Ephesians 2:4-5)
~ Remember that you were at that time separate from Christ, excluded from the commonwealth of Israel, and strangers to the covenants of promise, having no hope and without God in the world. But now in Christ Jesus you who formerly were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. (Ephesians 2:12-13)

Ok I could go on and on so I'll stop. By the way, I'm slowly falling in love with the girls in my youth group. Discipleship is such a cool thing - they teach me more than they'll ever know. p.s. the random pictures are from 4th of July and from a day at the river with some great friends. :) God has blessed me immensely!

2010-06-15T21:15:00.000-07:00

Dear Jesus,

Please help me to give up the little things I know I should.
Please help me to act according to Your truth, rather than merely by my emotions.
Please help me to stop thinking so much of myself and start serving others more.
Please help me to remember every morning when I wake up what you did for us so that we are not separated from the one true God and can have a relationship with Him.

That would be really nice, even though I don't deserve it. Thank you.

Oh, and thank you for letting me witness one of the most beautiful weddings ever known: David and Kirsten Nickisch!

Yep, I'm steppin out of the bubble!

2010-06-04T23:34:00.000-07:00

God is opening my eyes.

It is a good thing to be surrounded with other believers who can encourage each other, teach each other, learn from each other, and help keep each other accountable.

" ¹²that is, that I may be encouraged together with you while among you, each of us by the other's faith, both yours and mine. " ~Romans 1:12

But here's the thing. I'm in a bubble. I have a feeling a lot of followers of Christ are in a bubble. You know where I'm the most comfortable? With other believers. It's wonderful. It's a taste of heaven. Where do I feel the least comfortable? Around non-believers who question my faith. So naturally, I gravitate toward the ministries that involve being in fellowship with believers and as wonderful as it is, we STILL have a great commission:

"¹⁹'Go therefore and make disciples of all the nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and the Son and the Holy Spirit, ²⁰teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age.'" ~Matthew 28:19-20

Anyway, God's showing me what it looks like outside of the Christian bubble. It's definitely a hard world, but how else can I be used by God the way He desires unless He pulls me out of the bubble here and there. There is a place in our lives for relationships with non-believers. Last weekend I got a whiff of what it's like to see people in a corrupted world and try to show them love. I found that even though I wanted to share the gospel with them or ask them spiritual questions, it was as though God kept telling me just to "listen" and not be so quick to speak. Some of these people are hurting and if I'm not willing to listen and NOT judge, then how are they ever going to see God's love? Since then I have been praying for more opportunities to "love" others who don't know God. Firstly, I believe my family is a priority. Why I don't spend much time with my cousins, I don't know. Maybe it's because I'm not as "Comfortable". But why should it matter how I "feel"? Acting based merely upon feelings is not normally a good thing. Ok, then yesterday I bumped into a girl from school who I really wanted to continue a relationship with and she told me she wanted to hang out sometime. Then tonight I got to go to the city with a good, old, friend of mine who is not a Christian. When we came back we spent several hours just talking about God and the Bible. This is the same friend who asked me lots of questions during my freshman year at college. He asks challenging questions because he likes to make people think. He sure made me realize how little I really knew of the Bible. He's a big part of the reason I went to the Great Commission Bible Institute (GCBI). It was the coolest thing to get to talk to him again now that I'm back from GCBI. My life is so different. My answers were so different. I didn't get all defensive when he asked me challenging questions. And rather than being sure I answered all his questions, I asked him some questions too. It wasn't as much about being right as it was about sharing what I've learned about the Bible and my relationship with God. And the thing is, I completely get where he's coming from. I completely get why he believes what he believes. I guess it's helping him see what seems to be true and what actually is the truth: what the world says about God and the Bible vs. what it actually says. And also, I admitted when I couldn't answer a question. He's a smart kid! I have much more to say, but I'm so thankful for God bringing some of these friends back into my life. Ok, to challenge you, I'll put down some of the things my friend said tonight: (Answer some of them if you'd like)

How can Jesus be God in human flesh AND the son of God?
How can God be the son of God AND God?
What the purpose of life is. Your purpose as a Christian is different than your purpose as a human being.
Saying women need to submit to their husbands is sexist
What is "Good"?
If we all fall short, than why try hard if we'll never be good enough?
If the Bible is true, than why would God let people use it falsely like in the case of the Crusades?
The Bible is boring.

p.s. I'm not saying at all that I said all the right things, but I can say that God was definitely at work. It's all Him - NOT ME!!!

God is at work!

2010-05-26T21:31:00.000-07:00

Oh my goodness! GOD DID IT AGAIN! Today I had a nice day helping Cleo and talking to her. I helped her change into a nice outfit, put on a scarf, even a necklace, did her hair and makeup, and put perfume on her. She needs that every once in a while. Actually, I have been doing her hair and makeup for a couple of months now. It's interesting how much something so little can make someone feel better. I took Cleo outside to a gazebo and asked her if I could read her a story. I read the first chapter of Luke (since I just read it this morning). As I went along, I tried to have Cleo guess at who it was talking about and tried to make sure she understood as I went along so I wouldn't lose her (there are a lotta verses in that chapter!). At the end of it, Cleo again mentioned how it's interesting how she understands when I read to her but not when she reads herself. Then she asked how people could translate the Bible so clearly into such beautiful language. (I thought to myself, "Wow. Only God could do a thing like this!") I explained how some people are able to speak the both languages fluently and translate it the best they can, just like a translator would if you went and spoke to people in a different country (of course the Bible is written in three different languages). I said that they do the best they can and keep comparing and comparing it to the originals to get as close as they possibly can. Still, the main message is always the same: Jesus is the Messiah, and He came to save us not from physical enemies like some people thought, but to save us from our sins. Cleo said, "It all comes back to Jesus being the Messiah doesn't it?" and I said, "Yes!"

Real quick: what I wanted to say was this: if God can take sinful men and use them to create and put together the Bible, the Word of God, than He can also use people to translate it into many different languages to get the Word spread all around the world. And really, what CAN'T God do? He does unbelievable things all the time, so why should it be hard to believe that He can do that? I hope I wrote this all down correctly. If I said anything that sounds funny let me know (sometimes I know what I'm trying to say but it doesn't come out right) All I can say is God is at work, whether in Cleo's heart, mine, or both. He is GOOD! (p.s. the picture is of two sweet girls I'm getting to know. Sorry my pictures have not matched up with the content lately!)

Lord I'm amazed by you...

2010-05-24T21:10:00.000-07:00

God is wonderful - I am full of wonder when I think of the things He does in my life. Today I gave the gospel to Cleo again. We spent 3 hours discussing the Bible and talking about questions she has. I was going to say I'm speechless but here I am writing you. :) Cleo fell out of her bed last night and has a pretty bad bruise and cut on her wrist as well as neck pain. They gave her pain medication but even still, she was pretty shook up. One of the first things she asked me was, "Lindsey, can you read the Bible to me?" After I read Psalm 139 (My favorite psalm) she said to me, "Don't stop. Please don't stop - but only if you want to". After reading 5 or so psalms Cleo said, "Lindsey, why is it that I understand the Bible when you read it to me but I don't when I read it?" I explained several reasons that could be why. One of the things I said was that there may be some words used throughout the Bible that she may not know the meaning of. An example was that a few years ago I found out that Gentiles are anyone who's not a Jew. That changed my entire understanding of the Bible. Then Cleo asked if God has favortism for the Jews and I explained how Jesus came to save both Jews and Gentiles - and how it is true that they have certain blessings that we don't have, but we also have certain blessings that they don't have. I read to her verses in I Corinthians and Ephesians that talk about how we are saved. Sometimes when I said something Cleo would say, "run that by me again". She asked me some questions I didn't know how to answer and she told me, "It's ok if you don't know - it's food for thought!" She even asked me to do some research on Psalm 23, her favorite psalm! I couldn't believe it! Cleo went to a Catholic school as a child and a lot of what she quotes seems to be from that school - some of it Biblical, some of it not. One of the things Cleo said she had to do was to confess her sins to the priest and the priest would tell her to say so many hail marys, etc.. I explained to her that that is not Biblical - how we are not required to go through someone to get to God - that all we have to do is ask God to forgive us and He will - and that's part of being in a relationship with Him. Also, having the priest determine your punishments is just not good. I told her that that doesn't really give God the opportunity to show you grace! Cleo told me it always bothered her and she knew it wasn't right. I'm glad she sees that.

Even still, Cleo does not see God answering her prayers. I explained to her that God does answer prayers, but that I've been taught He either says "Yes", "No", or "Wait". She thought that was interesting and that it made sense. I explained to her that throughout the Bible there are stories of people who begged and begged God for things and when He finally gave it to them, it turned out to be bad. I told Cleo that even though I begged God to let me go to Grace college, I'm glad he didn't let me because I needed to go to GCBI, which turned out to be the best year of my life. Mom asked me tonight if I could trade my year at GCBI for four years at Grace, would I. I immediately said, "No. Never." Mom was surprised at my quick response. :)

Anyway, Cleo still doesn't see any answers to prayers - I explained how He sent her Kathy to be with her during her daughter's and husband's deaths, how He sometimes gives her nice times out to eat or to get her hair done, or gives her a few sweet nurses to take care of her, etc. but she still doesn't see it. I told her that when we realize that we're sinners deserving of death and eternal separation from God, but God sent his son to suffer in our place and pay the ultimate sacrifice so that we would not be separated from God forever and could be brought near by the blood of Christ, that anything else God gives us are things that we do not deserve but God gives us grace anyway. I'm not sure what she thought about that. Cleo also asked me how we know heaven is a good place. I told her we know it's good because God is there - and wherever He is, it's good!

Really, God is to be praised for all of this. I just pray that Cleo somehow understands... and I'm learning a whole lot in the process. It's insane how much I don't know how to find in the Bible (on the spur of the moment) Anyway, I have some research to do! Better kind than any! For His kingdom!!! (p.s. the photo is a group of friends I hung out with last night. It was AWESOME. They're also my dancing friends. God has really blessed me!) :)

Compromises

2010-05-23T21:24:00.000-07:00

Compromises. That's what I'm thinking about tonight. What are the areas you compromise in? It really is crazy that somehow I believe they're not a big deal. They are. For example:

At GCBI (the Great Commission Bible Institute) I was convicted to drive the speed limit. I realized that when I go above the speed limit, I actually am breaking the law. I realized that I was convinced that since everybody else goes 5 mph above, it was ok, or that since a policeman won't pull me over for going 5 over, it's perfectly fine. But actually, it's not. It doesn't matter if I'll get caught or not. From then on I stopped going above the speed limit, until I came back to Virginia. Somehow I decided it was ok again. I decided it took too much patience to go 25 on 25 mph roads. I decided it was more important that I get to wherever on time because "I have commitments!!!".

So here's where I am. For a while now I think, "Ok, I'm gunna stop going over" and then I don't. Here's the thing. If God specifically has convicted me and asked me to stop, it IS sin for me to continue, no matter how "OK" I think it is. I'm not taking God seriously ("Fearing" Him) when I do that. Also, this goes for all the other little things in my life that I decide aren't "big deals". Like, little habits I do I know God has told me not to do, mornings I decide I don't have time to read His Word, etc.

Also, if I were to actually leave EARLY or even ON TIME for things I would not feel the need to go more than the speed limit. But that's for another blog... :) By the way, there are some reeeally great girls I've been getting to know. I've had a few girls get-togethers because it doesn't seem like the girls in our youth group get to spend time together outside church. It actually seems like there's only 5 girls who are actually consistently involved and the rest don't really know each other, don't go to youth group, etc. And 3 of the girls who consistently come are graduating this year! I just pray that when I start Nursing school, I can still be involved with the girls in the youth group. If anything. I think of my girls in Sebring and it encourages me to get to know the girls here better. Eh this should be it though -I need to sleep! (p.s. the picture is a group of friends I've been getting to know the past few years. When I say I go dancing, they're who I'm with! They're awesome!)

Maybe, just maybe...

2010-05-19T21:54:00.000-07:00

Boy, today was a crazy day. This morning I did a drug test that's required for the Nursing program. Then, I was with Cleo who was dizzy and sick to her stomach all day. :( Poor thing. I DO know what that feels like and it's awful. Thankfully rubbing her back helped some. She asked me again "Why me? I try to trust God but I don't get any breaks. Things just keep happening to me. Why won't it stop?". How do I answer this question? I read her a few verses on trials in James 1 (2Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, 3knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. 4And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. 5But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him. 12Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him.) and I told her about Job and how he still praised God through it all. Man, it's hard to know what to say to someone who's hurting so bad. It's not just physical pain, it's emotional pain as well. She really has been through a lot. How do I use Scripture to show her the answers she needs? She seems to be open right now for help and encouragement. Only God can give me the right words to say.

We had some girls over tonight from the youth group. It was so great! They all seem kind of quiet actually - but thankfully we all know how to talk! They seem to look to me to decide what we're going to do. I guess it's because it's at my house and I invited them. :) It's just strange because I'm not used to being a leader like this. I guess I'm used to doing it with someone else. It means I really have to be prepared.

Afterward, Shaheen called me super excited because she had just bought tickets to go to David and Kirsten's wedding. After shrieking on the phone a little while, we realized she had the wrong month for the flight back home... so with a lot of prayer we got my mom on the phone with the airline (because she knew what she was doing) and the lady gave Shaheen a refund! I cannot believe it. So hopefully she'll get the ticket tomorrow... I am so thankful that God did that for us. I mean, He really didn't have to but maybe, just maybe, He wants Shaheen at that wedding!

p.s. I miss my Roomate a lot right now... Has it really been a year?

My mere words aren't much, but...

2010-05-03T20:01:00.000-07:00

I almost don't want to blog yet because I'd like to give you a chance to read the cool thing that happened last Saturday, but THIS is even cooler and I have to tell you:

Cleo is the older lady I take care of (for work). I know I talk about her a lot but it's because I'm with her a lot and am challenged by my work with her probably more than anything else in my life right now. I have been praying for her and many of you have as well and I really appreciate it. Tonight I went to be with her. I was going to leave at 7pm but I had a thought: Why not read a few verses to her on heaven? (I actually stayed 2 more hours and had this conversation:) I read 2 Corinthians 5:

"For we know that if the earthly tent which is our house is torn down, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For indeed in this house we groan, longing to be clothed with our dwelling from heaven...Therefore, being always of good courage, and knowing that while we are at home in the body we are absent from the Lord - for we walk by faith, not by sight."

Then she stopped me and said, "We walk by faith, not by sight? I don't agree with that". So then I tried to explain what faith was. I kept looking for Hebrews 11:1 (Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.) but couldn't find it. Cleo asked me when I became passionate about learning God's Word and following Him. I explained to her that when I was younger I used to compare myself to others. I looked at everyone and thought I'm pretty good. I didn't understand how much I needed God. When I began to realize that I deserve punishment for the things I do wrong, I began to understand that God sent His Son to put on human skin and be the only perfect sacrifice on my behalf. I asked if I could read more to her so I read her 1 Corinthians 15 (like Josiah R. suggested at youth group):

"For I delivered to you as of first importance what I also received, that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, and that He was buried, and that He was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures, and that He appeared to Cephas, then to the twelve."

Then somehow we got into the discussion about hearing God. Cleo seemed very discouraged because over and over again she has cried out to God and asked for His help and she has not heard any answers. She does not get assurance that what she hears from the Bible is true but it seems she tries to believe what she was taught anyway because she doesn't have anything else to hold onto. She talked about her daughter and husband who passed away and all these things that have happened to her physically (Cancer, strokes) and she just asks God, "Why me? Why won't it stop?" She wondered if she's being tested or something. She told me, "Maybe I'm not praying right". I tried to explain to her that God knows your heart and it's your heart that He wants. It's not saying the right words or doing the right things. Then I explained to her how God talks to us in different ways and one of the ways He does is by His Word. Even if Cleo wanted to read God's Word, she couldn't because she can't see well. I believe the Bible has been something she's seen as too complex to ever understand on your own. I told her Another way God answers us is through people - that He can send people into her life and use them to comfort her. She asked me if I think God's sent me to her. I told her I would be honored if God wanted to use me that way and she said "I think He has. I think he's sent you to me to help me." A few times she started crying. It's one of the first times I've really seen this type of humility in her. I mean, I've seen it before but this was more unusual. I don't mean to say she is not humble, but somehow this seemed more like a godly humility. A few times a nurse walked in and Cleo said, "Lindsey's giving me a Bible lesson!"

I asked if I could read some more verses. I read Ephesians 2,

"And you were dead in your trespasses and sins, in which you formerly walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, of the spirit that is now working in the sons of disobedience. Among them we too all formerly lived in the lusts of our flesh, indulging the desires of the flesh and of the mind, and were by nature children of wrath, even as the rest. But God, being rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in our transgressions (sins), made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up with Him, and seated us with Him in the heavenly places in Christ Jesus, so that in the ages to come He might show the surpassing riches of His grace in kindness toward us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast..."

I asked her, "Cleo, what does Grace mean to you?" She said something like "Isn't it miracles God gives you?" I told her Grace in the Bible is God giving us what we don't deserve. Then I explained about how we are saved by grace, not by works. I said if we were saved by the things we did, then we could say we earned heaven - that we DESERVE it as well as the glory. I said that we aren't saved by what we do but by what God did for us - that way HE gets all the glory. Then I kept reading in that passage,

"But now in Christ Jesus you who formerly were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ."

I explained that God is so holy He cannot tolerate sin. Because of it, we are separated from Him. But Jesus paid the price of sin on our behalf and now we can be brought near to God if we put our faith in Him.

It seems like all these years Cleo knew many of the right phrases, but to actually understand what they mean in regards to what we deserve and what God did for us so that we won't get what we deserve (eternal separation from Him) if we trust and follow Him is a different story. I don't know if she understood what I read but Cleo kept asking question after question. When I was about to leave, she told me, "I wish you wouldn't leave, I have so many questions"!!!!! Seriously??? Of course I'll stay!!! (I thought). I told her about the gospel project I'm working on (writing down all the verses I find having to do with the gospel in the new testament and writing them all up and putting them in order - then making a smaller version to give to people). Cleo said, "Can you please give it to me when you're done?" CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT? I'm so excited I can't tell you. Then I told her about a pastor (Pastor Randy!) who has a message all about the story of the Bible from start to finish (I listened to last night) and told her maybe we could listen to it. She said, "Oh that might be interesting. Maybe we can hear that one day"!!! REALLY??? I've wished I could before but thought she would hear way too many things in it she didn't agree with and make me turn it off.

Ok so I'm stoked. I did have one great conversation with Cleo before but not like this. I still don't know if she understands... but obviously only God can do a work in her heart. I mean, she lives by herself (in an assisted livings) and spends so much time discouraged because of her current situation and wonders why God is "doing" all this to her. She spends so much time alone or with people who don't talk to her about Jesus that she's likely to fall real deep (easily) and get to the point where Satan will just tell her over and over to doubt God and that she has full right to be upset/mad. I told Cleo that we're meant to be here for each other. We're not meant to do this alone. We're meant to bear one another's burdens. That's one of the reason we have the church. I told her if I wasn't reading God's Word, wasn't in a church of believers who encouraged me, and didn't have good Bible teaching, I would fall too and I wouldn't hear God very much either. Cleo really does feel like she's bearing all her burdens alone and like God isn't doing anything about it. But she was very kind to me and thanked me for spending time with her.

Guys I know this is super long, but This really is important to me. Not that it's just important to me, but the way I feel is it's her soul at stake. Sometimes I feel it's impossible for God to change her. I wish he'd prove me wrong. :) My hope is that somehow you are encouraged through this. I'm sure I messed up a bunch and didn't say a bunch of things right, but somehow because of what I've been studying at home and learning in church I was able to talk to her. By the way I bring my big ol' Bible in my purse with me every time I'm with Cleo. Most of the time I never use it and a few times I debate whether I should bring it in with me but boy am I glad that I do.

My mere words aren't much but God's Words are powerful! Thank you Jesus!

Thinking again... (Yes you're allowed to applause)

2010-05-01T21:00:00.000-07:00

So, something that happened tonight has gotten me thinking... My friend was dancing with me and gave me a spin. Apparently my body wanted to spin more times than it could handle (all too quickly) so I fell backwards (like a board, might I add) and hit the back of my hip and then the back of my head. Later a girl told me she'd never seen a fall stop everyone from dancing like that! My friend wanted to help me up but it hurt and I knew I couldn't move yet. Somehow I got up and kept dancing - very gently. Somehow, I danced the rest of the night and had a lot of fun. Somehow. I'm feeling fine now. But what I don't get is this: our brains are so soft it's ridiculous. I held a pig's brain yesterday and was astonished at it's jellidity (We'll pretend that's a word). It felt like Jello. How can we have that inside our head and only be protected by fluid, bone, skin, etc. It baffles me. Then I thought about how on earth that Jello-like structure in our skull controls almost everything we do and think. It's the weirdest thing to me and does not seem possible that our neurons work at just the right time, let alone send the right messages to our fingers to help me type this, to my heart to make it pump without me knowing, for all my blood vessels to constrict at exactly the right moment and for me to think out clear (not always!) messages to portray to you. It's insane! Ok so tonight I hit my head. I still think the same (for the most part), my arms and legs still move the way they did before, my body is pretty much not affected by it except my head hurts some. Only a perfect, wonderful, loving, Creator like ours could make us that way. The fact that things go wrong just proves we're in a fallen world. Also, thinking of my brain the way it is, I wonder how I can even begin to think I have control over my life. There are so many things God does to keep your body going every moment that you don't even realize. He and He only is the one in control. Do you know that every day your blood vessels get tiny tears in them that have to be repaired over and over again? You have no idea. Me neither. So how can I feel like I'm taking control of my days and leave God out of them. That's utterly foolish of me and it needs to stop. When I realize I'm just a mass of cells that just all happen to work together - who is a wretched sinner and I still do what God specifically tells me not to do, it makes me remember just how holy He is and how much I need Him and need to take Him seriously (fear Him).

"Know therefore today, and take it to your heart, that the LORD, He is God in heaven above and on the earth below; there is no other. So you shall keep His statutes and His commandments which I am giving you today, that it may go well with you and with your children after you, and that you may live long on the land which the LORD your God is giving you for all time." ~ Deuteronomy 4:39-40

Hopefully my "thinking" has caused some "thinking" in your Cerebral Cortext as well.

(Random fact: Our fetal pig intestines yesterday was longer than my armspan! Our intestines is about 20 ft. long!) :)

Gospel Project:

2010-04-30T12:08:00.000-07:00

There's a guy in my Anatomy and Physiology class who sits next to me. A few weeks ago when we were studying for a test, I asked him if he goes to a church nearby. He said yes but him and his wife don't go very much. When I asked him what he believed about Jesus and the Bible, he preceded to talk of how so many people can claim to be Christians and go to church but not live like one, and how different people get different messages from the Bible, and why it seems God did all those miracles in the old testament but you don't see them happen anymore. Anyway, I talked to him about it a little and told him what I believe: that the Bible is the Word of God and that everything in it is truth, etc. I'm not explaining the conversation wonderfully here but hopefully you get the gist.

Since then, I've been going through the new testament and writing down all the passages I can find having to do with the gospel. When I'm done I want to type them all up, print them all out, separate them, and put certain passages together and then in order. I'd like to make a shortened version to give to my friend in class so that he can have a clear representation of the gospel. You guys, I am not wonderful at all at portraying a message clearly. That is something God's going to have to do because normally I'm just not good at it - I confuse people AND myself! Anyway, this isn't just for my friend at school, but for me to read every morning and for me to give to anyone else who'd like it. Spending time reading those verses over and over will also help me in explaining to others about Christ.

Last thing: today in class, as I looked at a Glomerular Capsule in the microscope (oooh fancy scientific words!), this same friend out of the blue told me, "You'll be happy to know I've been going to church more lately"! I was pretty excited but my response was, "How is the teaching?" :) Anyway, he said he's mainly going to the Sunday school which is great. I hope they're teaching truth there. I hope I hope I hope! Ok that's all! If you could pray for my endeavor of typing up the gospel that would be great. I definitely need help.

p.s. My dad and my family is doing well. We've had a lot of encouragement from people at our church. My dad's surgery on his finger went well on Wed. He says it doesn't even hurt even though he has a "Frankenstein" finger!

p.s.s. The second piece of my Bible just fell out. So sad!

It is so easy...

2010-04-12T13:30:00.001-07:00

It is so easy to pretend.

It is so easy to lie. Not a big one - just a small one. If it makes your life easier, why not?

Because you do not do wrong to do right. You do NOT. And if you do, well then... you're wrong! It's like the world tries to engrave into our head that the end justifies the means. Completely NOT true. Last year at GCBI I was challenged with this truth. It's simple but hard. It's never ok to lie.

"... in reference to your former manner of life, you lay aside the old self, which is being corrupted in accordance with the lusts of deceit, and that you be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and put on the new self, which in the likeness of God has been created in righteousness and holiness of the truth. Therefore, laying aside falsehood, speak truth each one of you with his neighbor, for we are members of one another... for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light (for the fruit of the Light consists in all goodness and righteousness and truth)" (Ephesians 4:22-25, 5:8-9)

This is just one example of how we are to walk. The reason I bring this up is because I have seen how easy it would be to lie to the lady, Cleo, I work for. So many others seem to do it - it gets them out of difficult situations and they probably believe it will be for the good of everyone. I also bring this up because I have been encouraged to do so. I have been told to tell Cleo the doctor requires her to do this or that. I have been told to tell Cleo that the nurses took this or that item or that the store is out of this or that thing. These all would have been lies - and easy ones too.

I had already determined in my heart I would not lie to her. I'm sure I have without meaning to, but it is so hard. I've realized I won't tell her a lie but I don't have to tell her the truth. Much of the time I either have to distract her or find some way without lieing. But I have to be on guard constantly because I'm sure I'll slip up in a hectic situation if I'm not prepared.

Anyway, I've also thought about other times in life when we're used to using small lies to make things easier. In the Bible you see stories of people of God who think it's ok to lie in order to save their tail - but then God reminds them that He takes their sin seriously. I asked a good friend recently if it's ever ok to lie. I thought about Christians who hid Jews in their homes and had to answer to Nazi's at their door. If I were the Christian, would I lie to save the people? My friend told me that even if it's hard, no, we should not. BUT we wouldn't have to give them information or answer them or talk or anything. I honestly don't know what I'd do in that situation, but at least I know what God wouldn't want me to do.

In this together... right?

2010-03-27T13:06:00.000-07:00

It is hard to work for someone who tells me one minute I was sent by God and another minute told never to come back. It is hard and difficult to stay strong. I give her my heart and it's hard because it hurts sometimes. My heart starts racing and my limbs become weak and shaky. I ask God to help me because there's nothing else I can do. No one else who can help me. I cannot lose focus - if I do, there's no telling what would happen. I need God through this, through everything. As much as possible I focus on verses. Please pray for me and Cleo and let me know if there's something you're going through I can pray for. We're all in this together, remember?

"I have set the Lord continually before me; because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken..." Psalm 16:8

Amazing Conversation:

2010-03-24T20:53:00.001-07:00

Ok, funny story: so today a young guy who works at the assisted living nearly flirted with me, so this older lady said this to me: "I think he's trying to get with you! Lead him on a little bit - it won't cost you anything!" Yes. She did say that. Then she preceded to say: "All you have to do is tell him what to do and he'll be eating out of your hands"...

Seriously? I laughed so hard. That's all I could do. Don't worry, I will not be taking the lady's advise...

On a more serious note, Friday at my fellowship group Mr. Outhous asked me if I'd ever prayed with Cleo before. I said no. Monday when I was with her we had a really good day. She was more herself which was great. When I put her to bed I realized it was the perfect time to ask, so I did. Cleo said, "You can pray for me any time you want!" After I prayed for her she was almost tearful as she told me how much she appreciated me. Today I was with her again and we got into a conversation about God, the bible, life, etc. It was incredible. If God uses my words it will be a miracle because I probably confused her so much. The amazing thing is, Cleo kept asking me more and more questions like, "Why do you believe that", "How do you know that?", "How do you know God's Word has changed you?", "Why does God keep sending me so much pain. Why me?", "Do you really honestly think Satan exists?", "Is it wrong for me to want to be with my husband and daughter (in heaven)?", "What do you tell someone who's thinking about suicide?", "What do you do when people reject you for what you believe?", etc. It was crazy. I couldn't believe it. I obviously did not have all the answers but I really hope something I said helped. One of my favorite parts was when I told her, "Yes, I believe Satan exists because the Bible says so... (And using Pastor Randy's words from the week earlier:) ...But the great thing is, we know the end of the story: God wins! And one day Satan will be destroyed forever and we'll live for eternity with Jesus and everyone else who chose to put their trust in Christ!" I love when things come to mind that I just learned or heard, because it doesn't happen a whole lot. When I helped Cleo get ready for bed, she told me, "I have not been treated this well in so long. You are going to make a wonderful nurse, and you have some extra training too!" I prayed with her again tonight. I almost didn't - I don't know what I'm thinking sometimes. I make excuses like, "I'm tired and want to go home and eat". But this time I listened to God and prayed with her and gave her a kiss good night.

Last Sunday at youth group the girls were talking about how they never spend time with each other outside church and how they really wish they were closer. SO strange (and wonderful) since last week in Sebring I was especially convicted of that very thing: to help the girls have hangout time outside of church so they/we can really get to talk and become closer. The goal would be so they would have friends to come to for encouragement/accountability/etc. that would ultimately help push them to be more like Christ. (I hope I worded that correctly). Now it would be awesome if we could study scripture together sometime too. Anyway, I'm still praying about it but I though the timing of all this was really neat. Yes, I would LOVE to stay in Sebring again but I'm so excited about what God's teaching me here. My visit in Sebring last week just fired me up to come back home which is not what I expected. (I tell my parents, "it's not that I didn't want to come home, I just didn't want to LEAVE Sebring.")

p.s. this is my first shaded in-class project in my Drawing I class. We were only allowed to draw lines up until this point. Thought I'd share it. Generally I don't like to put my art online, but I figured most of you won't see it in real life unless you come up to Va (*hint*hint*).

Back from Spring break in Sebring...

2010-03-19T20:42:00.001-07:00

50th post, whaddya know?

Last night I was in Sebring, Florida, now I'm in Richmond, Virginia. This just confuses me. It took me just as long to fly from FL to VA than it took my friends, (Doug, Emily, Katie, and Shane) to drive from Orlando to Sebring. Crazy!

Besides all the beautiful reunions of good friends, all the big tearful (on my part) hugs, reminiscent conversations, and heart-to-hearts, last week was a big learning experience to me. Sometimes I believe it's important to leave your current situation and look at it from a distance. That's exactly what I do with my art. I've gotta step away - not just one step, but maybe 12 steps away to see the picture as it really is. I watched people in Sebring and was challenged to consider the way I live here in VA. One of the first things was this: Emily had verses all over her room. She had verses in her bathroom. She had verses on her door. And my favorite: when I laid in her bed to take a nap, she had a verse on the ceiling above me. I've been wanting to do that for months at home - so what was taking me so long? One thing I know about myself is that I have a difficult time focusing, and I let my mind be consumed with thoughts not of God and His Word, but of worldly things. So, tomorrow I plan on putting a bunch of verses around my room. :)

I've also been wanting to take prophecies of Jesus in the Old Testament and match them up with verses in the New Testament so I plan on doing that soon. :) I think Em, Doug, and Brian did that. Ok, then Sunday I was really thinking about Pastor Randy's sermon about Generosity (also thinking of my pastor's recent sermon on it too). Pastor Randy said this:

"A right relationship with God incurs a generous heart". and "If I think the things I have are mine, I won't give it". You can take those two points and run with them. :)

Then I watched the youth group and the church in general. I went early to church that night and helped Tommy get ready for the service as others got there early to set up for their classes, etc. As we all were cleaning, as people came in I'd give them hugs and talk for a minute and it felt like it did when I lived there. I was at the church a lot and would run into lots of people. I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'd like to have deeper relationships with the people at my church here. I'm trying to figure out how I got to know the people in Sebring so quickly compared to here. I believe it's partly because I have not been involved in helping others in the church here very much. I don't know why. At GCBI we had leaders encouraging us or setting up times for us to help out, but here it's up to me, and I make excuses. Also, with the youth, I just don't spend enough time with them. Yes, I go to functions and are involved as much as I can, but I mean one on one time. That needs to change as well. I see some sleepovers in my future. :)

What else? Emily asked me what time I read the Bible during the day. I was thinking the morning, but lately I've made excuses for why I need to sleep in as late as I can and skip reading. It's a bad habit that needs to change FAST!

Those were the major things. The last thing I want to say is while I was in Sebring, a wonderful Godly man named Marvin "graduated" (passed away). If you could pray for his wife and family that would be great. He was a faithful man of God - Him and his wife were an encouragement to me last year.

That's it for now, but there'll be more later! Hope you were encouraged somehow as I was! God is good and is doing great things!

p.s. I just got accepted to Phi Theta Kappa! Also, the last week of school I did much better on my exams than I thought! Thank you Lord!

"Woe to those..."

2010-03-06T08:29:00.001-08:00

This is staggeringly relevant to our "Christian" culture (I think):
(Isaiah 29:13-16)

Also, I will be in my second home, Sebring in one week from today. If you didn't know, that's where I went to Bible school last year (Great Commission Bible Institute) and where there are many loving, wonderful people who I have not seen since last May. Here are some pictures:

Cut out my eye... er... facebook?

2010-03-03T20:40:00.000-08:00

Please pray for Cleo. I cannot explain everything here but she is not well. Although, sometimes she is more herself which is wonderful. In a few days her daughter comes to move her into an assisted livings... hopefully. I have no idea if Cleo will be ok there. Pray that God can use me in Cleo's life and the life of her family: to be an encouragement, to be a light, and most importantly to show God's immeasurable love toward them.

Our other friend, Pam, was told today she will be on a feeding tube the rest of her life. She called today to tell us, and also told us God is good and she wants His will to be done. SUCH a testimony...

Right now I'm asking God about Facebook. I know it's been a problem for a long time and I'm asking if I need to delete it or just post a note saying I won't be on for a while. Recently when I went to the Focus conference with our youth group, we looked at the Sermon on the mount. What really got me was in Matthew 5:29 - "If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you to lose one of the parts of your body, than for your whole body to be thrown into hell." Ok, the context of this is lust, but I thought about anything that helps me stumble - or even anything that keeps me from having a closer relationship with Christ. One of the major things that stuck out in my head was Facebook! I'm wrestling a little bit because that is how I stay in contact with some very important friends - as well as how I share my pictures. Also, my friends use it to invite me to events. But like I said, I'm praying about it and I want to do what God wants me to do.

I currently have some opportunities to form relationships with people at school and somehow share the gospel with them. I pray that God will help me because... well... because I need Him - we all do!

(Pictures are from our youth retreat!)

This could be a WARNING...

2010-02-25T08:58:00.001-08:00

I just finished Hosea and Amos. Here's a chapter I found particularly interesting. It's Amos 5 (and beginning of 6). Read it and think about what direction America (as a whole) is heading. It's just quite interesting to me. I could be wrong in my comparison but the people in this passage just reminded me of us. It could be a good and necessary warning that God takes our sin very seriously and will not always show us His mercy (this means we may have time to change and turn back to Him)...

Click on this so you can read it better:

Update... because it is needed!

2010-02-24T19:34:00.000-08:00

Ohh boy. Too much to say. Basically it all boils down to this: God is so good. Sometimes I have a hard time saying that because of what some people think when they hear that. Nevertheless, it's the truth. No matter what happens throughout the day, God continues to show his endless mercy and grace toward me in a way that brings me so easily to that conclusion. I have been put in situations lately that cause me (seemingly) endless stress, yet God picks me up and helps me see things the way He does, which brings much comfort and peace.

In the second week of school this semester, the lady who I take care of, Cleo, had a stroke. Long story short, she was in the hospital a few weeks and now a nursing home. Physically, Cleo is doing better (can use a wheelchair), but mentally and emotionally Cleo is not right now. Please say a prayer for her, that God will give her clarity of thought, peace, continued physical improvement, but most importantly, that she will make Christ Lord of her life. Also please pray for her family (especially her daughter) because they live far away and it is so hard what they're going through. I pray that God will use me to encourage her and bring Cleo hope - but lately my endeavers seem to have the opposite effect. It is hard to know how to help her right now.

At the same time, a close family friend, Pamela, is in the same nursing home. She has a disease that causes her tongue to grow until eventually the person can't breathe anymore. It's horrible. She had a surgery on her tongue last Nov. to make it smaller and has been on a feeding tube ever since. She is currently in therapy to see if she will be able to eat again. All the while, she rarely ceases to be an encouragement to me and tell me HOW GOOD God is. This lady has suffered more than I can imagine, yet she boldly proclaims Christ and His GOODNESS. Also, she tells me, as always, that she prays for me and my family every day. She also asks every person she meets if they know Jesus as their Savior. I am honored to have her in my life. Meanwhile, her tongue is getting bigger again and it is difficult to understand her... but she desperately wants to communicate God's love to all who she meets! Please say a prayer for her too...

One week ago (Feb. 17) it was one year since my grandma passed away. Beth called to see how I was doing. We got mom flowers because we knew it was a rough day for her. Meanwhile, I thought about my trip to Israel and the people who are there right now and all they must be learning and experiencing!

And a couple of other quick wonderful things:

~ I applied for the Nursing program a few weeks ago. I'll find out if I got in in March. :)
~ I was asked to be part of the school's Phi Theta Kappa honor's society :)
~ I'm going to Sebring two weeks from Saturday. It's snuck up on me and gives me so much joy to think about
~ Kirsten asked me to take pictures at her (and David's!) wedding. Too excited for words (as well as nervous and thankful!)... just have to find a way to Montana!
~ My 21st birthday is March 28 and My family and I are seeing the play WICKED on that day!
~ I'm in a drawing class. It's wonderful.
~ I'm going through some of the minor prophets in the Bible... pretty excited! Currently in Hosea. Will you give up the thing(s) that hinder your relationship with Christ? Will I?

I'd like to put some quotes here from some of the ladies in the nursing home. They can be so witty! I always forget the cleverest sayings though. Here's a conversation today:

D: I can't believe I'm in this place. They run this place so poorly and I can't stand being here any longer.
S: Oh isn't it so nice we have a place like this? This must be such a nice place for people to come.
D: How could they drop me off at a place like this? The food is terrible.
S: I'll bet this is a great place to work. It's probably a good place to meet people too.

Me: It's so good to get out of your room and talk to people. If you stay in your rooms you'll just get lonely!
S: If you hide away you'll waste away!

Later:
Mom: What's your name?
S: Beatrice or "Bee"... Bzzzz!

Another beautiful lesson from God...

2010-01-15T19:08:00.001-08:00

God has been doing a lot in my heart. It feels like I'm on a roller coaster, but as long as I'm growing, then I guess it's a good thing. As long as I'm getting closer to God, and walking with Him, then it shouldn't matter what it takes to get there, whether it's a wonderful passage of scripture that helps bring me closer, or if it's something that brings me to tears so I'll call out to Him, who is the only One to truly understand. It's been some of the most interesting last few weeks I've ever had... there have been beautiful times with family and friends, as well as times that try my patience and cause me to seek God. It's been crazy but beautiful all at the same time. But God is the only One who can take such interesting events and blend them together to create something just right to push me to be more like the "Lindsey" God wants me to be. It's only through Him that I could understand all this, whether you do or not. His messages have been clear to me and it's only by the power of His Holy Spirit and His Word. The times I believe I can do it on my own, and go even one day without reading scripture, have been some of my worst days. I fall into it often, but by God's grace, He picks me up again. I don't know how, but He does, just to remind me how much He cares for me and wants my heart - my all. Just because I know this now, does not mean I am always focusing on Him. I'm not. I become selfish and decide I want to do what I want to do when I want to do it. That's when I feel disconnected from God, and know He is not pleased with me. Then I feel so guilty and forget that no matter what I do, all God cares about is that I keep going back to Him. Yes, he wants me to obey, but He knows I need grace when I do fail.

Here's the thing, you may read this and not believe the Bible is true - and though I don't have a whole logical, intellectual explanation of why I believe it is, God has shown me time and time again proof in my life that it is the Word of God and is living and active. One example is something that happened to me today: Somebody said some really hurtful things to me today - somebody who I am close to and have tried my hardest to do everything I can for them. I was upset. Hurt. I did something I may never have done before: I literally trembled. I cried to God and He heard me. My friend Arielle welcomed me to stay at her house, and she became the good friend I needed. So did my wonderful Aunt. Later tonight I read the psalm that was next in my Bible reading. This is what I read:

Psalm 109
¹O God of my praise,
Do not be silent!
²For they have opened the wicked and deceitful mouth against me;
They have spoken against me with a lying tongue.
³They have also surrounded me with words of hatred,
And fought against me without cause.
⁴In return for my love they act as my accusers;
But I am in prayer.
⁵Thus they have repaid me evil for good
And hatred for my love
²¹But You, O GOD, the Lord, deal kindly with me for Your name's sake;
Because Your lovingkindness is good, deliver me;
²²For I am afflicted and needy,
And my heart is wounded within me.
²⁶Help me, O LORD my God;
Save me according to Your lovingkindness.
³⁰With my mouth I will give thanks abundantly to the LORD;
And in the midst of many I will praise Him.
³¹For He stands at the right hand of the needy,
To save him from those who judge his soul.

You may not see what I saw in those verses, but I saw them as from the very mouth of my Lord and Savior. And by the way, if you read the verses I did not include, they mainly are prayers that God would deal with those people as they deserve (But I do not wish that for this person I speak of - I only wish God would show Himself in a very real way to this person and they realize their need for Him, just as I do every day)

Ok, maybe a strange and discombobulated post (wow, that's actually a word?), but it's what's in my heart at the time. I'll let God use it how He wants.

It's all God.

2009-12-17T14:49:00.000-08:00

Today was my last exam. It is difficult to share with you all of the ways God has been blessing me, but I can share at least one thing. I had three tests last week and two exams this week. I have not gotten A's on all of them, but I have an A in all of my classes. The thing is, it is NOT me. That's not normal for me. It never has been normal for me to get straight A's. God has blessed me immensely and I believe is using this to encourage me in the direction (Nursing) that I am going. My only question about nursing was if I have the capability to learn what I need to learn and do well enough. I told God at the beginning that this would not happen without Him.

And the thing is, even though I did work hard at times this semester, I did mess up. I did make lots of mistakes. I know God knows my heart better than I do, but I know that I do not deserve all those A's. I'd say maybe B's and A's. :) But basically, I had loving people around me who prayed for me and God willed for me to do well. I don't understand it, but God has allowed for my mind to be clear at times and to study longer than usual at others. It's all God. He should get ALL the glory!

I have much more to say, as usual, but this is it for now. Maybe I can post our Family Christmas video soon. I hope you can see God working in your life as much as I do. Merry Christmas!

Good food, wonderful family, new friends, and miracles...

2009-11-26T20:23:00.000-08:00

So this Thanksgiving was a day I probably will never forget...

This morning I got up and started cooking with mom. I made a cranberry dish grandma always made and then began the apple pie. Turns out I didn't really know how to make pie crust... but with the help of mom, now I do! Bethany came from DC to cook her wonderful cakes/cupcakes. It's so interesting the contrast between a home void of Bethany, and a home with Bethany in it. It's wonderful with just dad, mom, and I, but when Bethany comes, our house really comes to life! Of course our family never really feels whole without Ryan (and Anna!), but that's ok. Bethany immediately began with her intriguing stories from the week, which filled the room with gasps, laughter, and just plain joy (I think). Then I went to pick up Cleo. First of all, it is almost a miracle she agreed to come for Thanksgiving. She did not want to be someplace where there would be lots of people around (especially people she doesn't know). She was going to stay home alone, but none of her family or I wanted that to happen. I went and picked her up and my dad and I helped her in the house. I finished the Pie (with help from Bethany and Ashley - boy it takes me forever to peel apples) and meanwhile, the two international students from VCU and my cousins came (Tia, Tio, Ashley, and Carlos).

Oh to have my family together and a few friends was one of the most lovely things to happen. I knew my family was fun, but I forgot how funny and entertaining they are. We managed to eat close to 4pm (only an hour-ish late which is pretty good for us!) I noticed that different people would go up and talk to Cleo, which hopefully made her feel more included. I didn't know how long she would feel good and need to go home. We went in to eat and that was so great too. Everybody was talking (Cleo mostly listening) and asking questions and having a wonderful time. Bethany took lots of pictures, thankfully. I got Cleo a little bit of everything and guess what? She said to me, "I don't think there was any food I didn't like. It was all very good". She ate a good amount, which was a blessing. She even had two helpings of my apple pie! I got to show her some of my art and play a song on the piano for her. When I left everyone was sitting on the couch talking. Dad helped Cleo back out into the car, and I knew it really wore her out. She was trying to catch her breath when she kept telling me, "I appreciate so much what you and your parents did for me today. I had such a wonderful time. Thank you so much, it means so much to me."

Helping Cleo out today and making her so happy, as well as being with my family, was the best thing that happened today. How God chooses to bless me so much I don't understand why.

One year ago today, I celebrated Thanksgiving with the Eshelman's and the Brown-Ogden's in Florida. I missed them today but was so glad to be here.

So I stood WHERE?...

2009-11-18T20:24:00.000-08:00

Ooh my goodness... I just finished reading 1 Samuel and noticed it mentions "Beth-Shan" in the last few verses. I looked it up to see if it's the same place I noted in my last post (it's also called Beth-She'an as well - generally it doesn't really matter how it's spelled as long as you say it the same, or something along those lines).

I was reading in chapter 31 about Saul's death: Saul killed himself because he didn't want the Philistines to kill him first. The Philistines found him on Mount Gilboa and displayed him on the wall of Beth-shan! This particular story ends with "all the valiant men" taking Saul (and his sons who were also killed) off the wall and burying them in Jabesh.

Ok, I know this is a strange thing to talk about but I have a point: I'm reading a story that happened maybe 3,000 years ago, and just realized that I stood on the same hill that Saul and his sons were (even though they were not alive...). Yes, I believe that everything the Bible is truth, and that all these things DID happen, but it hits me when I realize even more how real it is. If I had only been born so many years earlier, at that moment as I stood on the hill I could have been trampled by a troop of Philistines, or witness the valiant people who came and took their bodies down from the wall at night so they would not be made a spectacle of anymore and be buried in a proper way. Meanwhile, David is safe and will no longer worry about being killed by King Saul. Now off to 2 Samuel for the rest of the story...

Please read the first part of this story in 1 Samuel if you'd like to understand the story better. I'm just showing you snippets! There are amazing stories in 1 Samuel such as: stories of a lady, named Hannah, who cannot have children but pours her heart to God and later miraculously receives a son, named Samuel, who becomes a prophet. Then Israel keeps asking for a king (just like everyone else - the point was NOT to be like everyone else) and God gives one to them (one of the worst things that can happen is when God gives you what you ask for). Samuel carries out God's messages to the people and Saul is chosen as the king (Israel likes his appearance - he LOOKS like a good king). God chooses to do mighty things through Saul, yet he disobeys God so God appoints another, young David, to be king in his place. Of course Saul does not like this idea one bit and chases after David to try to kill him for some time. While David is running or hiding, he writes some Psalms (like Psalm 34 and 56) to the Lord. There is also a story of beautiful friendship between Saul's son, Jonathan, and David, as well as battles to be fought (and of course the side who chose to obey God was normally the side who triumphed). It's all pretty incredible. You see how incredible God is through it all. It also doesn't hurt that it's wonderfully entertaining!

By the way, Here's the map of the location of Beth-Shean:
http://bibleatlas.org/beth-shan.htm

(I've had a really good day today - maybe I can write about it tomorrow) (p.s. the first picture is on Beth-Shan looking toward Jordan, the second is looking up at Beth-Shan - that one lonely tree you see won't be cut down because it's famous for being the tree they used in a movie as the tree Judas was hung on. Of course that was just for the movie, the third picture is me on Beth-Shan and you can see the Roman city behind me - actually I just realized the Roman city may have been Beth-Shean as well, I'll need to find out)

David's beginnings...

2009-11-17T20:28:00.000-08:00

"Then David said to the Philistine, 'You come to me with a sword, a spear, and a javelin, but I come to you in the name of the LORD of hosts, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have taunted. This day the LORD will deliver you up into my hands... that all the earth may know that there is a God in Israel...'"! (1 Samuel 17:45-46)

I'm in 1 Samuel right now. So far David's story is incredible. You can go read it if you haven't in a while because it's pretty much AMAZING. For a girl who generally doesn't enjoy reading a whole lot, I see time and time again with my own eyes that the Word of God is living and active, sharper than a double-edged sword, and I need it as I need food every day (I say this, but I just spent about a week out of God's Word because "I didn't have time"). Even though I struggle sometimes/often to be in the Word daily, I still see that it is powerful and God still wants to teach me things even though I am not always faithful. It's amazing and I don't deserve it.

I just started writing down truths/scripture tonight. I have not gotten far, but here's a good one:

"When I am afraid, I will put my trust in You… I shall not be afraid. What can mere man do to me? (Psalm 56:3-4)" David wrote this when he was captured in Gad. I tend to fear about certain things when I'm alone, so this verse can help remind me of God's power and hand in a situation.

Have a wonderful week! I'm off to bed! (The first picture is from the top of Bet-She'an/Beth-Shan looking toward Jordan. It's mentioned in several places in the Bible: Joshua 17:11, 1 Kings 4:12, 1 Chronicles 7:29 and I really thought it's somewhere else too. The second picture is part of the Roman city in front of Beth-Shean - which is shorter/smaller than it used to be. This Roman city was discovered in the past few years. You can imagine the conflict that could have occurred if there were people living in both places at the same time so close to each other. The streets of this roman city even had a name in mosaics on it!)

A look into Lindsey's head...

2009-11-06T22:49:00.000-08:00

One of the things I am most thankful of right now is the fact that I can hear from the living God. It starts to scare me when I get so involved in my life that I stop listening to God. Sometimes I'm on the verge of that, and then somehow God brings me back to listening to Him again. God has been teaching me SO much lately but I get busy with life so fast that I recognize what God's trying to teach me, and then I forget and don't really do much about it. And then He'll teach me again and again. Ok, I just need to write down a few of the things that I know God is telling me lately:

I need to spend more time pursuing my relationships with my family than I spend on my friendships. My parents, I've been spending time with, but after GCBI and being in Brasil with my dad I realized I don't know him nearly as well as I should. My sister, we've been getting along a lot better when we're together, but when we're not together we barely speak. My brother and Anna-Laura - I barely talk to them either. Mainly this is because of the business of our lives, but that shouldn't stop us from being close.

Facebook is distracting me from so many different things and so much time is wasted on it. It is amazing to stay connected with friends and look at pictures, etc. but I've got to do something to stop it from keeping me from doing what God wants me to do (ok, it's not Facebook's fault at all, it's mine).

I've got to put into writing certain truths about God and His Word. There are lies I believe every day and could easily be disregarded if I look at specific truths to, in a way, prove myself wrong. It would help keep me on the right track and help keep me focused.

Knowing God's Word better is so important for me. I really need to be able to know where truths are and be able to show people. The other day in class we discussed homosexuals being allowed to marry. I couldn't even say in the Bible where it says it's wrong. Things like that are so important for us to know, especially now. I can't know everything off the top of my head but it won't help if I sound stupid - like I'm just repeating what I've been taught. Now that I'm reading the Bible through on my own, I've been able to see where some of the specific verses are (like in Leviticus about homosexuality, etc.)

I don't know how or when, but God seems to want me to work with homeless people. It's a little strange how I know, but I have no question about it. But I don't know when right now - maybe next semester? I don't know. Whenever the door opens because it's not really right now. My time in Brasil was when I first started thinking about it. Also, I really need to understand lost people better. With most of my friends being Christians... it is easy to come in contact with a non-believer and think their ideas are outrageous, and then not know how to talk to them.

I need to pray for God to humble me daily. I've realized that it doesn't always happen naturally as I feel it should. Lately I've been apathetic about things that I should care about - and that worries me. But I've been praying about it and God's been humbling me. I guess I assumed that since my nature has generally been to care for people, that it'll just come naturally... but not quite. And especially if I will be a nurse that is huge! I need to care for people more than I have been lately. But, like I said, God has been helping me. I guess what I'm talking about is partially my time with Cleo. Sometimes it can be so stressful that I don't feel sorry for her as much as I should. I've had to bite the bullet sometimes and just do things because it needs to happen, whether it's convenient or not. Also, I need to be extra careful I keep a good testimony. Even if I didn't do wrong, if she thinks I'm doing something wrong it could be bad.

I need to spend more time studying... of course

Pastor Randy was entirely right when he said I do (and will) have problems focusing - that I can be involved in so many different things that it's hard to see how I get anything done. He hit it right on the nose. That probably is the thing I struggle with the most. I have trouble doing much to the fullest. Things have been much better since GCBI, but it's still a huge struggle. A good example is my art. The six painting that I've started in the past 3 years: One of them was finished right away, another was finished this past summer, and I finally finished another this week, because I'm determined now to finish them before I move on. It's hard though.

The thing is, if I get into nursing, I will never survive like this. It just won't happen unless I do my part. I know God is teaching me things now to prepare me.

Here's the big thing: if I was not in the Word, I don't know if I'd learn any of this. I wouldn't hear from God like I do now. I'd continue on the way I am and not really grow. This is the first time (on my own), I've stayed in God's Word almost every day for more than several weeks. It is changing my life, and my relationship with the living God.

p.s. I've been thinking about Israel a lot lately. Pic 1: Hebrew scriptures, Pic 2: looking down from Mt. Carmel, Pic 3: the day after I found out my grandma passed away, I was taking pictures of rosemary and someone came by and told me if stands for remembrance, Pic 4: The Sea of Galilee, Pic 5: from the top of the Herodian, Pic 6: the Sea of Galilee, Pic 6: The salt sea, Jordan (the Mountains)

"I am the Lord your God" x infinity...

2009-11-02T19:43:00.001-08:00

My mom is doing much better. For those of you who prayed for her, thank you so much. For those of you who didn't know, my mom was sick for a month and could not figure out what was wrong. Finally the doctor figured out she has a Hiatal Hernia (a hole in her esophagus). This hole causes a lot of problems which I don't completely understand, but it is painful. A few nights my mom actually felt like she was having a heart attack (this was before she knew what it was), but thank goodness we now know. Now my mom has to sleep somewhat elevated, cannot sit or sleep directly after eating, and cannot have acidic food, caffeine (coffee), or chocolate. It's been taking much getting used to but finally my mom is feeling much better. Some days are worse than others but she's glad to have relief and especially to know it is not something fatal! Some of the things that can help cause a Hiatal Hernia are: Stress (biggie), slouching (!), going to bed with a full stomach, stuffing yourself at meals, obesity (causes stress on your body - even if you're not overweight, you can gain weight too quickly), etc. I've been particularly convicted about the slouching thing. Especially when I learned about the vertebrae in Anatomy and Physiology. Haha

Well, about three weeks ago, I started reading through the entire Bible. Thanks to Douglas, I now have a schedule to read it entirely in 81 days. I have been listening to the Bible (http://www.biblegateway.com/resources/audio/) and reading at the same time. This helps me continue at a steady pace, and get through some of the tougher parts. Listening to the Bible while I read has been a big help with my understanding of the scripture, although I really need to read along as well to understand. I am a little behind, but I'll catch up. So far I've read: Genesis, Exodus, Leviticus, Numbers, Job...

...and I'm almost done with Deuteronomy. When I started Deuteronomy, somehow I thought it would be kind of boring, with all the laws it has in it. My goodness was I wrong! I kept underlining things because there are so many great verses and chapters. There are a lot of themes that I've seen so far in the Scriptures that I've been wanting to write down. In Deuteronomy, allthroughout I see the God reminding His people time and time again that HE, and only HE is their God. This is because God knew His people well, that they would easily forget all that God has done for them (Chapter 8), and consequently, follow after other false gods. Also, even though God did not have to, he continued to prove to Israel over and over His love and prove that He is faithful and will protect them if they only trust in Him. Because I need to go to bed soon, here are a few of the verses I underlined:

1:23 - Oh Lord God, You have begun to show Your servant Your greatness and Your strong hand; for what god is there in heaven and on earth who can do such works and mighty acts as Yours?

4:7,8 - For what great nation is there that has a god so near to it as the Lord our God whenever we call on Him? Or what great nation is there that has statutes and judgments as righteous as this whole law which I am setting before you today?

4:39 - Know therefore today, and take it to your heart, that the Lord, He is God in heaven above and on the earth below; there is no other.

10:12-14 - Now, Israel, what does the Lord your God require from you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways and love Him, and to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, and to keep the Lord's commandments and His statutes which I am commanding you today for your good? Behold, to the Lord your God belong heaven and the highest heavens, the earth and all that is in it.

10:16 - Beware that your hearts are not deceived, and that you do not turn away and serve other gods and worship them

Ok, one last thing. I don't think I've ever realized this:

18:15-18 - The Lord your God will raise up for you a prophet like me from among you, from your countrymen, you shall listen to him. This is according to all that you asked of the Lord your God in Horeb on the day of the assembly, saying, "let me not hear again the voice of the Lord my God, let me not see this great fire anymore, or I will die." The Lord said to me, "They have spoken well. I will raise up a prophet form among their countrymen like you, and I will put My words in his mouth, and he shall speak to them all that I command him..."

So one of the reasons God sent prophets was to answer the cry of the people? To speak to them through a man since He is so powerful the people fear they won't survive? Or something like that. I have not thought about it much. I think it's pretty neat though. Well then...

Goodnight! Happy voting tomorrow. :)

(p.s. that's my baby cousin Ashley and me at Graves Mountain!)

So, what am I going to change?

2009-10-04T11:22:00.000-07:00

Some exciting things have been happening lately:

Today was the second Sunday I played keyboard for my church. It has been really neat to be a part of that so far! Also, today, I am officially a member of my church! I am honored to be a part of such a wonderful church. Last Friday was my first time at my fellowship group. We're going through a book on Prayer. Hopefully I can get a college and career group together soon and I'm also getting involved some in the youth group. I'm very excited about this year.

My mom has been sick for three weeks now if you could pray for her. She found out she has a hiatal hernia (a hole in the bottom of her esophagus), which explains all the heart burn she's been having (as well as the dizzyness, etc.). A few nights she felt as if she was having a heart attack. I've been learning how to be more of a servant. Generally I'd make excuses to get out of doing things (extra), but lately I've tried to not only be willing, but to also have a good attitude about it. But really, it has not been very hard because it's for my mom. She does so many things for me that this is the least I can do.

I have been struggling lately with lots of little things that normally shouldn't be a problem. It seems as if I should just learn from them, change my habits, and proceed with the next thing God wants to teach me. But that's not the way it's been, so my mind has been almost consumed with the fact that I can't get over them, and then nothing changes. But then I think of Paul when in Romans he talks about how he does the very thing he doesn't want to do, and doesn't do the things he wants to do. That's exactly how I've been feeling for a while. But I can't be consumed by it. I get to the point where I feel I'm so horrid I don't deserve anything - and then the next minute I'll feel prideful. Neither is good! It is good to know that I don't deserve God's love, yet He still gives it freely, but it's mainly good if it actually moves me to change. Then today, Pastor Rich talked about how now that we're saved, what are we going to do to show God how much we appreciate Him (and what He's done for us).

So this week, how is my life going to change to show God how much I appreciate Him. How can I prove to Him that I will be faithful, just as a "bride/wife" should? Hmm that's just something I need to think about... and actually act upon!

I just have to say...

2009-09-22T20:02:00.001-07:00

I've been studying forever, and we even got a new teacher in the mean time, but...

... by the grace of my wonderful Lord and Savior, I just got a 100% on my first Anatomy and Physiology test. It really wasn't me, it was God. I give Him all the credit. He's the one who helped me study. Now I just need to continue to study...

One more thing (which I'll talk about more later): The youth retreat last weekend was incredible! I know God was really at work, at least in my heart. I'll write more later.

...of COURSE God has his hand in this!

2009-09-16T13:49:00.000-07:00

For the past week and a half I've been helping Cleo recover from a surgery she had on her mouth. At the beginning, she was doing very poorly because the pain was so bad. Lately, that pain has not been so bad, but I think since she has not eaten many nutritous things, Cleo has been feeling sick. Now, she may not have eaten for three days (she doesn't remember). Each time I've offered her something, Cleo is either not hungry, she feels too sick to eat it, or doesn't like that sort of food (not to mention it is difficult for her to eat solid food).

I was praying for her some, but I honestly wasn't praying very much. I was praying for patience on my part (quite a bit), though. Yesterday I realized this unfortunate fact, and began to pray for Cleo, especially that she would eat something (good).

Today after taking Cleo to the dentist, she wanted to get soup at Cafe Caturra (where I used to work)! Even though she was very tired, miraculously she managed to walk inside and order a cup of tomato basil soup (which is one of my favorites), and a small coffee. It was exciting for me to show Cleo the wonderful place I used to work, and she seemed to have enjoyed it. Also... quite quickly she ate ALL the soup. The fact that she ate it all was so wonderful and later on she'll hopefully eat a few things I got from Ukrop's.

It is so wonderful to me to be reminded again that God has His hand in this. I shouldn't have to worry. Also, today was the first day in a while that Cleo told me she'll probably be going down to FL to live near her daughter. Most of the time Cleo says she does NOT want to go into an assisted living, but she needs to.

Tonight I'm going to get much work done because this weekend I will be going on a retreat with the youth at my church. Please pray that God does something wonderful in their hearts and that I will be prepared to help. Thank you!

Back at school...

2009-09-04T08:50:00.000-07:00

For me, school started about two weeks ago, and something interesting has happened. I have been more disciplined these past two weeks than I thought I would be. Something in me thought things would be just as they were when I was here two years ago, but something else in me knew that I have grown and things would not be the same. I am determined to do well in my classes and that I will learn what is necessary, not just for the class, but for the future. I am taking the last four classes I need for pre-nursing so that I can apply for nursing next semester.

The coolest thing about this is the fact that I know I cannot go through the nursing program and do well alone. I already told God before that I can't do it without Him. If I get through it and do well, the glory will go to Him. I am not somebody who remembers terms easily. I am not someone who can sit down for an hour and read a text book. I am not very good at understanding or explaining scientific processes. By the grace of my incredible God, I have been able to get through almost all the reading and I've been studying on my own. I've been spending much of my time in the school library (which I thought I'd never be able to do), and then when I get home I spend time with my parents. It's the coolest thing. I just need to continue in this way.

One thing that I've learned is that the best time for me to study or is in the morning. Crazy enough, I never knew that. I always thought the best time for me was in the afternoon and at night but that's not true at all. This new piece of information can change everything. Also, I have some friends here that I'm bumping into which has been so great, and some of them I've studied with already.

Anyway, I'm very excited and it will be interesting to see how I do on the first tests... I have Anatomy and Physiology, Developmental Psychology, Math, and a Study Skills class. Something I need to focus on is waking up earlier and spending more time with God. That should be the most important thing. I'm also working three times a week with Cleo (who I take shopping, clean her house, etc.) and am currently trying to get involved in serving at my church more. My church is wonderful!

Practicing Patience...

2009-09-01T15:15:00.000-07:00

Me: "Would you like me to take these perscription orders to Ukrops this afternoon?"
Lady: "No, it's too late in the afternoon"

A few minutes later...
Lady: "I think I'll call someone to see if they can bring the perscription orders to Ukrop's later"
Me: "Oh but I'm right near your house, I can do it!"
Lady: "I don't think so, we'll do it tomorrow. What time would you like to come over tomorrow?"
Me: "Twelve o'clock. Is that good?"
Lady: "Uh... I guess. I'll just have to send June out tomorrow to bring the perscription orders to Ukrop's"
Me: "Well, we're already going to Ukrop's tomorrow, is 12 o'clock too late? I can come at 11."
Lady: "No, you know 11 is to early for me to be ready!"

This is a conversation I had today with an older lady I help take care of. Sometimes I have the opportunity to learn to have better patience, because sometimes she gets confused or forgets things, which is perfectly normal. But she is wonderful. She is teaching me a lot about life. One thing she tells me often is to wait for someone (who's wonderful and a gentleman like her husband was) and not to settle. She speaks of him often and tells me clever things he used to say, or the way he'd stand up for her, or treat everyone wonderfully. It has been such a great experience getting to know her this summer, and has been a huge learning experience as well.

But today when I was tempted to get frustrated, I said to God, "Oh yeah, you're trying to teach me patience, duh!"

One thing that's been on my mind...

2009-08-02T21:05:00.000-07:00

It is not easy for me to sit and blog my thoughts. Each time I'd like to, it seems as though there is too much to say in the time I have. In fact, right now I'd generally say I don't have the time but I'm going to say something anyway:

It's incredible all that has been running through my mind lately. It almost seems I am at war with myself constantly. Actually, there is a war going on and I've just been getting glimpses of it. I've been seeing how God is trying to work in my life and is trying to tell me things, yet life wants to pull me away from continuing to hear God and actually do something about what He tells me. It's so strange. Very much I feel as if I am so dreadful that I don't deserve anything - and that I am not fit to be used by God. Then as satan begins to think he's winning, I'll finally remember that God is a good God who will forgive and He wants to use me anyway. Also He gets to prove that He's so amazing by doing the incredible through the unlikely. I cannot stay in the state of sorrow for my sins (basically shame). That's just not right. Christ already suffered for my sins and in that I should rejoice, not continue to grovel for things I've done. Yet the pitiful part is the fact that I also become prideful often. It's crazy...

I began thinking much more about this during my mission trip in Paraguay. There is much more I learned and began thinking about as well during that mission trip but I'm afraid that has to wait. I'm afraid my head needs a rest (sleep) because I'm feeling a little dizzy. I will be leaving for Brasil with my dad this Thursday to visit family so I hope I can write again before then but we'll see. Thank you.

p.s. we went to the Iguacu falls at the end of our mission trip. It was breathtaking... just gives me another small glimpse of how great our God is, and also how incredible heaven might be, especially if this is what living in a fallen world looks like!

Less than two weeks...

2009-04-28T14:49:00.000-07:00

There are less than two more weeks of GCBI. I am very sad that it is coming to an end and our schedule is almost completely full up until our graduation (Sunday, May 10) so I don't expect to do much writing until after that point. We also have a huge final next week to prepare for as well as packing and saying bye to everyone. That's the problem though. I don't know how to say bye to everyone... but even still I'm trying to focus on what God wants me to do... and it's hard!

p.s. the picture is from my wonderful 20th birthday at the Keogh's.

2009-04-09T14:46:00.000-07:00

Today has been very interesting and so has this week. Today we went to a lady's funeral (someone from the church). I felt strange going because I did not know her, but that is what we were asked. I kept thinking about my grandma and how her funeral would have been. It seemed like my grandma's would have been much different, but I'm not sure how. Pastor Randy spoke about the woman's testimony, how she was an example of a godly woman and how her 67 years of marriage was such a good testimony. It was really neat to hear. Part way though I started to think of something Grandma told me over Christmas break and it was hard not to cry. I just imagined going home and seeing certain things that would make it more real to me that she's gone - things that would be hard to not cry over. Afterward I gave the woman's husband a hug. It was a little awkward because I didn't know him, and he told me after a minute, "I'm sorry but I don't remember meeting you". Haha. I told him, "it's ok, we haven't"! But what I told him was, "I am so glad you know exactly where your wife is right now. It is so good to know she is with the Lord." And I was crying. But it was good though. I think it's so neat that even though I'd never met the man before or his wife, we're both children of God, which means we're family.

I'm about to go watch Kirdy sing at church. She is singing the songs she created over this year at GCBI. Some of the songs she will sing with Nutie (her mom) and some with Brian. I can't tell you the joy that fills my soul when I listen to them sing. There's no way to properly describe it. This weekend is going to be really crazy. I'll be at the church all day tomorrow and Saturday and am spending Easter with the Brown-Ogdens!

Next week we are going to stay at a a few churches that need our help. Pastor Randy will be with us all week so I hope to spend more time with him and to grow more through the experience. By the way, there is one more month of GCBI. I hate thinking about it and I think about it too much. It's slipping away so fast...

My new cousin!

2009-03-25T19:49:00.000-07:00

My uncle Luiz Carlos (One of my dad's half brothers) just asked to be my friend on Orkut (like Facebook)! I am so happy because I haven't talk to him in three years. He is remarried and just had a little boy, my new cousin!!! I am so happy. :) I think his name is "Luiz Henrique".

2009-03-24T22:14:00.001-07:00

(Impatiens plant I got in January - it's still alive and has 13 new buds on it!)

There has been much on my mind lately. I've been praying for the last few weeks about going on a mission trip to Paraguay. I was nervous about it at first because sometimes I have a hard time hearing God. I've been afraid that He wouldn't give me a definite "Yes" or "No". A few days later I looked to see where Paraguay was, and my heart started aching because I realized it is close to Sao Paulo, Brasil, where my family is. I didn't understand how I could go on a mission trip like that without seeing my family. But, nevertheless, I decided to continue praying that God would give me an answer and change my heart toward whatever direction. I still really want to go to Paraguay and God just keeps giving me more and more reasons to go. Then someone asked me the other day why I shouldn't go, and I couldn't think of anything. Even though God has not literally spoken "yes" to me like I'd like, I really think He's opened all the doors for me to go.

For the past week or so I've been feeling so... strange. Things are moving way too fast and I was not happy with the way I was acting in many situations, or even dealing with my time, etc. It also seemed as though I was focusing so much on myself that I didn't notice the people around me as much and I found I wasn't currently that close to the other GCBIers for some reason, which upset me. So over the weekend I knew I needed to change my lifestyle a little bit. I needed to start my day asking God to help me do what I need to do. I also spent some time over the weekend reading in Zechariah (for homework) again and some in Psalms. I'm actually writing a song on the guitar... this is NOT something I'm gifted in but for some reason I'm trying. I'm doing it to part of Psalm 61, which has become very important and special to me (concerning my Grandma). Actually I'll tell you about it here:

Before going to Israel I finally sent a letter to Grandma for Valentines Day. In it I reminded her how much I loved her and wrote in these verses:

Psalm 61:1-4
¹Hear my cry, O God;
Give heed to my prayer.
²From the end of the earth I call to You when my heart is faint;
Lead me to the rock that is higher than I.
³For You have been a refuge for me,
A tower of strength against the enemy.
⁴Let me dwell in Your tent forever;
Let me take refuge in the shelter of Your wings.

(The traffic circle outside our building)

Mom apperently had been asking God for an opportunity to read scripture to Grandma in the hospital and then she got my letter. Mom read it to Grandma - I'm thinking it may have been Sunday (15th) or Monday (16th) of Feb. Then I left for Israel on the 17th and that's the night my grandma passed away.

After we came back from Israel I finally got to talk to my family. It became more of a reality that Grandma is gone, though I still don't know if I really believe it. I knew that I did need my friends for comfort but I had to learn to go to God first, just like Hannah did in 1 Samuel. I sat on my bed and read Psalm 61, cried, and talked to God. I needed it. I needed Him.

So lately I've just been trying to spend some time with God. I went down to the pier the other day (finally!) and talked to God for a while. It's crazy how it can be hard to make myself slow down and do it, but once I do, I can see how God is working in me, even though I am far from deserving it. There are also little things I'm trying to do that I know pleases God, and that makes me happy too. It's like there's peace in my life that was nonexistent a week ago. I am also spending a little more time with others here and am trying to listen a little more. I'm working at it. And Pastor Randy's teaching is just amazing. I am SO blessed you have no idea. I am so honored to be his student. I need to take advantage of this time. It has been a little strange around here because some people are looking foward to the end, or are looking foward to beak next week. But I am not looking foward to the end. I don't want this to end. I have so much more to say but this is enough for now. Thank you and I hope this was an encouragement to you somehow!

(Our home)

Praising in hard times...

2009-03-21T08:38:00.000-07:00

This morning I spoke for 5 minutes at something called "Upward basketball". From what I understand, the kids play basketball and during half time, someone does a devotion. We don't know if the people who we're talking to are Christians or not. This is what I spoke about:

In Acts 16 there is a story about Paul and Silas:

²²The crowd rose up together against them, and the chief magistrates tore their robes off them and proceeded to order them to be beaten with rods.

²³When they had struck them with many blows, they threw them into prison, commanding the jailer to guard them securely;

²⁴and he, having received such a command, threw them into the inner prison and fastened their feet in the stocks.

²⁵But about midnight Paul and Silas were praying and singing hymns of praise to God, and the prisoners were listening to them;

Ok, so Paul and Silas were beaten very badly, put into prison, and then were "praying and singing praise to God"? Wow. How easily would we praise God when we're hurting? I was thinking about all the times I've gotten horrible Optic Migraines, etc., and how one of the last things I'd think to do is to praise God. Normally I'm praying that I'll feel better but to actually Praise God, that's different. Then if you continue reading:

²⁶and suddenly there came a great earthquake, so that the foundations of the prison house were shaken; and immediately all the doors were opened and everyone's chains were unfastened.

²⁷When the jailer awoke and saw the prison doors opened, he drew his sword and was about to kill himself, supposing that the prisoners had escaped.

²⁸But Paul cried out with a loud voice, saying, "Do not harm yourself, for we are all here!"

²⁹And he called for lights and rushed in, and trembling with fear he fell down before Paul and Silas,

³⁰and after he brought them out, he said, "Sirs, what must I do to be saved?"

³¹They said, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household."

³²And they spoke the word of the Lord to him together with all who were in his house.

³³And he took them that very hour of the night and washed their wounds, and immediately he was baptized, he and all his household.

³⁴And he brought them into his house and set food before them, and rejoiced greatly, having believed in God with his whole household.

³⁵Now when day came, the chief magistrates sent their policemen, saying, "Release those men."

³⁶And the jailer reported these words to Paul, saying, "The chief magistrates have sent to release you Therefore come out now and go in peace."

God did some incredible things. He not only sent an earthquake to free them and to show the people how powerful He is, but also changed the heart of the jailer! I don't doubt some of the prisoners were changed from this experience as well.

Do not underestimate the power of our incredible God. He does what He wants. If God wants to use you when you're hurting to reach other people, He will. We can and should trust Him.

So then I concluded with this: When we are hurting, even though it is hard, we should still praise God; and who knows what wonderful things God can do with someone who keeps a good attitude even in hard times. Who knows who is watching and who will be effected by our testimony...

p.s. The pictures are from when we went to the beach last week. Notice the sting rays! (That night I got really awful strept throat... which kind of ties into the theme of this message)

It's been a while...

2009-03-11T19:40:00.000-07:00

It's been hard to update because there's been way too much to say. For now I will tell you a little about this morning:

Kayla and I spoke this morning at a church's Bible study about our trip to Israel. I spoke on Mark 4 when it talks about when Jesus calms the store. I'll write more about that another time, but for now, I want to just tell you that I related it to my experience of Grandma passing away while I was in Israel and how I've been learning how to trust God better. Anyway, after I spoke about 5 different ladies came up to me afterwards and gave me a huge hug. They were so encouraging and of course I started crying again. One lady even said that the rainbow I saw was a promise that I will see Grandma again. Another lady said that I will see Grandma again and will have good times with her for eternity. It was interesting...

One man came up to me afterward and gave me a little gift because he said, "This might make your day brighter". I opened it and it was a miniature birdhouse that he made. He said he calls it his "Little blue bird of happiness". It was all very sweet. I'll try to post a picture later. It was a good morning. :)

2009-02-07T21:50:00.000-08:00

Yesterday was such an interesting day! My roommate laughs at me because I've been using the word "interesting" to comment on almost everything lately. Now she's doing it. Anyway, yesterday morning I got up and went to Campus Life at Sebring High school at 7am. After that, we all went to Heartland Christian school to do chapel. We wanted to get the kids excited for worship, so I helped with the singing (NO microphone for me!). I always sit next to Sarah and Aaron Smith. I love being with them. They are young, but I still have so much to learn from them. I love how different they are. I guess it reminds me a little of myself, yet they're more confident than I am. Anyway, Kirsten and I went straight to Girl Talk at Hill-Gustat middle school. It went better yesterday than before. It's been pretty exausting going because we spend the majority of our energy trying to quiet them down, but yesterday was better. A lot of the girls seem pretty excited to come to girl talk. Some of the girls even give me hugs sometimes. We're just trying to make it more of a Bible study now than just "let's all have a good time talking while we try to quiet you down". Yesterday I got some good questions. Some of the 6th graders started talking about dreams they have about things that actually happen in the future, and one girl talked about how she has dreams of things happening to her family and friends that never happen but just make her scared. So I talked to them about that for a little bit. One girl told me when she was little she had a dream or a vision of Jesus' face in the clouds, and Him coming down and reaching his hand toward the people. I read to her Rev. 1:7 as an example of how Jesus will come back on the clouds, and she said "Whoa! I've never read that before and that's exactly what I saw! I never knew it was in the Bible!" Who knows, maybe that's what she needed to believe that the Bible is true, who knows! :)

After that I went to a basketball game between Heartland Christian Alumni and our GCBI guys. I went to be their cheerleader :) and I've never been so excited about basketball in my life. Shaheen, Stacey, an I yelled so much for them - they did so great! When we got home, we finally rested for an hour (and got ready). Then we left for a Youth for Christ banquet. When we got there, Kirsten, Brian and I practiced a song that we were going to play at the end, and then found out they wanted us to play a bunch more songs. I ended up playing one of my piano songs (on a keyboard which I'm not so used to - and it would have been good to practice beforehand!) but it was good. We got to introduce ourselves, have a nice meal, etc. and then we helped clean up. When we got home it was 9pm and then we started watching The Office. Seriously, that show is so entertaining. I crochet a slipper for Jonathan (to give as a gift) and finally went to bed. It was a long but good day!

Night and Day

2009-02-02T21:35:00.000-08:00

Well, last night, as you all know, was the Super Bowl. I think last night was the first time I actually got excited about a football game (or actually understood bits of it). For the first half I pretty much sat there crocheting the whole time, being uninterested in the game, yet the second half, I was paying more attention and actually found it fun. I say this to you because it was a small monumental moment in my life. Besides, I was with some of my favorite people in the world, my Gcbi's.

The strange thing is, every time I come to write, it just doesn't seem like a good time to write. I will have to finish this later.Later (Feb. 7):

The day that I originally started writing this post, I was woken up at 10 by a phone call. Chris needed someone to come to Heartland Christian school that morning (at 12pm) to speak to a few girls about what it means to be a woman of God. Even though I knew God wanted me to do it (plus, none of the other girls were awake!), I still doubted that I should because I'm still learning how to be a woman of God. But it seemed to me that I could still tell the girls about decisions I've made in the past, and show them an example of a Godly woman in the Bible. Before I went, Kirsten prayed with me. :)

I had four girls in the class (6th grade), and I told them about Hannah (in 1 Samuel). Hannah has become one of my favorite woman in the Bible (am I allowed to have favorites?). I don't think I ever told you all that right before Christmas break, I spoke to the kids at the Hill-Gustat middle school Campus Life. It was only 5-10 minutes long. At first I had no idea what to speak on, but then I thought about Hannah and how much I learned from her the past few months. Her story is only three pages so please go read it if you haven't! I'm guessing there were about 50 kids, and I doubt most of them go to church/hear the Word or really even understand what it means to give your life to Christ.

Basically I read some of Hannah to them and mentioned how she poured her heart out to God. She was completely honest with Him and she depended on Him. If you ever read my post from when I went to the pier, that was one of the first times in a long time that I really just went and poured my heart out to God. I couldn't take it anymore on my own. I was also learning that I need to go to God first before going to others. I got so used to going to my mom for everything. I'm not even joking. I tell her almost anything about what's going on in my life and even in my head. :) and it's really good because we have a really good relationship, but I rarely ever went to God first. And then when I came here, I began to depend on a few people here, but still not God as much. Now I try to make a point of talking to God first after something really important happens, whether it's something really amazing, or whether I just need help, etc. It's not so easy but it's getting better. Anyway, then I told the kids that after Hannah poured her heart out to God, it says she was no longer sad. Not that God will always take away sadness, but that God will give you comfort. (Besides, sometimes we need go through hard times).

Anyway, when I spoke to the four girls, I talked to them about that, and then talked to them about certain decisions I've made about dating (like even though I'm allowed to date now, I know God doesn't want me to yet), etc. I also talked to them about makeup - which is something I've been wanting to write about for some time. That will come later because I have plenty to say about it! I talked to them about some of the qualities of a Godly guy, and how God's given me SO many examples of a Godly guy through many of my guy friends (that will probably be another post too... just talking about how amazing our GCBI guys are and how thankful I am). I don't ever want to take them for granted.

I was so excited after that. I had done what God asked me to do, and it's so amazing to know you're doing exactly what God wants you to - and even that you can do little things for God and know that He's pleased with you even though nobody else but Him will completely understand. Pastor Randy was talking the other day about how you can give God the smallest things, like even something silly like a candy bar. Like, you can ask God if you can have this or that, and if He says no and you don't take it, than He will be pleased with you and it doesn't matter if anyone else knows. I don't know about you but I think that is so great. It's hard though. Sometimes I don't ask because of the fact that I think He'll probably say no. That's what I did with my parents too. You know.

I have to say though, that I don't think I did anything of real importance the rest of the day (ok, I did go to work). It was the strangest thing. I really think I just did nothing. And I was not ok with that at the end of the day. Just because I obeyed God that morning didn't mean I had the right to do whatever I wanted the rest of the day. It was pretty dumb of me. So I was beating myself up about how I wasted the rest of the day and then I realized that that's exactly what satan wants me to do. He wants me to focus on what I did wrong and just dwell in it and think I'm such an awful person. That's really what he wants me to think. So I told God I was sorry for being lazy and thanked Him for such a good morning and I went to bed.

I havn't forgotten...

2009-01-24T21:28:00.001-08:00

I just wanted to let everyone know that I have NOT forgotten to blog - my problem is I have so much to say, yet little time. Be looking for something soon because there are just some things I've gotta get out! Thanks!

Life in Va...

2008-12-22T21:49:00.000-08:00

Well, I've been wanting to post something for a while now. Before coming to Va for Christmas break, I had way too many emotions going through my head that it was hard to think straight at times. I'm not even sure I think straight now. :) But it's ok! It has been very interesting to be home. It has been a good break and I've been able to see my family, Lauren, Val and Lorena, and a few others. This Saturday is a TDT alumni ball (which will give me an opportunity to dance), I'm going Caroling tomorrow, Ryan and Anna-Laura are coming home tomorrow, Beth's coming home on Christmas Eve, I get to go see my friends in MD over new years, and a bunch of other things. One thing that's been taking up my time lately is stringing a guitar, a tenor guitar, and a Ukulele. I've just started practicing the guitar more, now that I have my own (from grandpa).

Life has been a LOT quieter and slower since I got home. I don't know if that's a good thing, but I suppose it is. I guess if it is, that's what I need at this time. Maybe it's good to slow down and think things through a little bit and get a better look at my previous life in Florida. I'm serious when I say my previous life, because that's how it seems. I honestly feel like I'm living two completely separate lives, one here and one in Sebring. I got so used to life down there, and I loved it more than I can explain. But I feel like I'm doing what I do when I'm drawing or painting. After working hard in one area, I need to stand back and look at the whole picture or else it doesn't matter how hard I work in that small area, the whole picture won't be right and it won't all fit together. When I'm in Florida, I can look back on my life here in Va in a different way too.

I've noticed how incredibly easy it is to go back to the way things were before GCBI. I don't necessarily like it either. When I'm not being pushed and encouraged constantly to do this or do that (in ministry), than it's easy to just sit back and be lazy. Also, it's hard to get involved much in ministry when I'm only here for a month. Like, when I come home in May, I definitely expect to get involved in the church much more - involved in people's lives by getting to know some of the people much more than before.

The other thing is, it's been so easy for me to just live off what I've learned in Florida and not go to the Bible to learn more (that's what I mean by going back to the way things were before). In Florida it's like I'm surrounded by amazing Bible teaching that I didn't have to try hard to learn from the Bible, yet here, it's once a week (which is not much). One thing I have been doing a lot of is talking to God (or writing to God). It has been really good except not so much if all I do is talk and not really listen.

One interesting thing is, my back's been hurting a lot for about 3 weeks now (whenever I breathed deeply, cough, sneeze, or stretch in certain ways) - and today I slept in incredibly late and tonight realized that my back hasn't hurt at all today! It's just gone and I don't know why. Mom thinks it's because of the cleaning I was doing at home (FL), but I don't know. I've been home a week and a half and it still hurt a lot until today. Honestly, I don't know why. I know everything happens for a reason - I just wish I knew. Maybe one day I will.

Tomorrow Ryan and Anna will be home. That should be a good day. I love when I have a big brother again. Of course sometimes we're both a pain, but a lot of the time, I just love having him around to learn more about cooking, or just to give him a million hugs just because I can, or to just be silly because that's what he expects. haha. I love Anna too. I love how she's so unique that I can always learn from her.

Well, I have a newer favorite song. It's "Baptize My Mind" by Jon Foreman. Here's a link so you can hear it (Though the video is just random): http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=033STnwn3j0 I haven't studied the words as much, but I just LOVE the music. I tried to learn some of the guitar chords/notes by ear today but it's so difficult! As far as I'm concerned, this song has to do with taking your sin to God and having Him cleans you/your mind.

Anyway, it's getting late. I just wanted you all to know what's been going on in my mind a little bit lately. Unfortunately, I can't write down everything on my mind, but I think you should understand that. Oh, another thing is that Cafe Caturra doesn't need me right now. They have too many college students coming home and they have too many workers and not enough hours. I have been offered a few little jobs here and there that is helping, but I'm not sure if it's enough. But I guess it's enough if that's all I can do right now.

Anyway, I better get sleep. Goodnight! Boa noite!

p.s. The first picture is me and Lauren being silly, the second is kind of obvious (me, beth, ashley), the third is Ash and I on the way home, the fourth is Joel (from church) on the way to a party, and lastly, is a picture from the My Favorite Highway concert that Beth, Ashley, and I went to in Vienna, VA. It was an AMAZING concert! Sorry I don't have a better picture. I actually took that one for Brian at home (FL) because he has that amp. haha

Not Knooow!

2008-12-11T13:59:00.000-08:00

"Not know!" has been Kirdy's and Kayla's newest phrase.

I'm leaving to go home tomorrow. Wow, I'm actually leaving Sebring, and actually seeing my family tomorrow. This is such a strange thought. I don't really know what to think about it. Tonight is my last day (this year) cleaning the church. I will be away from these people who have become my family for a month. I don't even know what that will be like. I don't like the thought of it, but I do want to see my family at home (VA). Rrr it's like I'm struggling with myself! I have to go but I have much more to say later...

Maryland: River Valley Ranch

2008-11-30T18:43:00.000-08:00

Wow, this may have been my favorite part of the tour. After being in Georgia from Fri., Oct. 10 to Mon., Oct. 13, we traveled to River Valley Ranch for three days. On our way, we drove through beautiful VA!!! Sooo on the way I heard Cameron mention "Roanoke" so I yelled to the front, "You mean Roanoke, VA?". Cameron said, "No, we're not in VA" so I said, "Oh, I know we're not in VA. Of we were in VA I'd be freaking out."

It turns out we'd already been in VA for 50 minutes and they didn't tell me until we stopped for lunch.

I hadn't been in VA for 3 months, the longest I've ever been away from VA. But I should have known we were in VA, it was too beautiful NOT to be. :) Now you should realize that up to this point, all us GCBIers had seen green trees since we got here, so the beautiful colors were just breathtaking. We passed the exit for Radford, VA Tech, and I think I even saw a sign for Richmond. When I found out there was no chance to see my mom, even for 15 minutes, I took it a little hard. I couldn't believe I was in VA but couldn't see my mom. I cried a little, but in a way no one could see (or so I thought). My wonderful roomie, Shaheen, gave me a note saying "I love you Roomie! :)" and that made my day. Then Brian talked to me for a little. It was good to know I was far from being alone.

River Valley Ranch is a Christian camp that has pretty much EVERYTHING you could imagine. We got there after eating dinner (it took us about an hour to find someplace to eat. RVR might have everything, but the area around it does NOT!). It was dark so we couldn't see anything. The next morning, I walked out the door to witness such beauty I couldn't believe. There was a large hill in front of us with trees just turning colors. Us girls worked together that morning (cleaning things, etc.) while the guys went off and did manual labor. Later on that day, we all got to go down a reeeeeeeealllly long zip line (like 1,500 feet). It was pretty intense and SO FUN! (yes, I was a little scared). We learned that letting ourselves go down the zip line is kind of like trusting God. That night (Tuesday) we had a really neat bonfire. Davie Pa (David) read to us Ephesians 4:29-5:2 ~

25 Therefore, putting away lying, “ Let each one of you speak truth with his neighbor,”[a] for we are members of one another. 26 “Be angry, and do not sin”:[b] do not let the sun go down on your wrath, 27 nor give place to the devil. 28 Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need. 29 Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. 32 And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

1 Therefore be imitators of God as dear children. 2 And walk in love, as Christ also has loved us and given Himself for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweet-smelling aroma.

We ended with a time or worship, knowing that during that time, we could go to anyone in the group to apologize for anything, etc. I was really praying about who to talk to, because I knew there were people I needed to apologize to just for the way I'd been acting, or things I said, etc. It was a really neat time to just bond with people better and to get rid of anything that was hindering us from getting closer to each other.

On Wednesday, we worked more in the morning, and us girls went horseback riding! It was so much fun! My horse's name was Roy and was apparently a very large horse. The saddle kept slipping so I'd ride crooked. When we finished, we found that the guys were too exhausted to take their turn on the horses, so us girls went again! We went on a trail that was even more beautiful and we even did some trotting! I would have loved a video of it because I was bouncing so high, I really thought I might fall. That night, Jake and Tony drove 2 hours to come see me (Tony know Gary and Shaheen, and Jake knows several people as well). They could only stay for an hour or two, but I had such a good time with them. I knew I had good friends, but that night just completely confirmed it. They were more than willing to drive 4 hours just to see me for a little bit. It was a little strange seeing them with the people I'd been living with for the past three months. It was like my current life finally converged with my life back at home. It was the best thing at the time to see them, they are such amazing friends to me, I don't even know how blessed I am.

On Thursday we traveled a few hours to go to a house church. Right before, Shaheen's parents traveled a few hours to eat dinner with her! I was one of the lucky people who got to eat dinner with her and her parents. It was so good to see Shaheen so happy to see her parents (of course she is generally happy anyway). The house church was really neat! I loved it. There were about 15 people and I think about half actually spoke. It was neat to actually get involved in the conversation a little, and to see Tommy get really involved too! We got to use some of the things we'd been learning at the Bible Institute. To me, it makes perfect sense to have house churches, and then bigger meetings like they have. It is way more personal to meet in homes. A lot of churches aren't really going in the right direction and having house churches seems like a really good alternative. If you think about it, that's really the way church started. Anyway, it was really neat.

The next day, Friday, we traveled to Urban Hope in Philly! And that will be in the next blog (or so).

:)

2008-11-20T06:17:00.000-08:00

I'm studying for our test this afternoon. Even though I'm not feeling well and did not have enough time to study, I can honestly say that I have this great joy that comes from reading and understanding God's word. I mean, I'm just studying, but I'm studying His word. It's so awesome. Just looking around the pages and being reminded of amazing truths is just incredible. I wish everyone reading this could do that as well. Anyway, that's my thought I just had to let you know. :)

Girl Talk

2008-11-19T07:20:00.000-08:00

I just wanted to say that during lunch (today) Kirsten, Alexis and I will be at a middle school, doing a Bible study with some of the girls there. This will be the third time We've gone and so far it is very interesting. The first lunch is the 6th graders, who I LOVE. I have a whole table full of girls I'm getting to know and they're great. The next lunch is the 7th graders, who are almost uncontrollable, but I really like some of the girls. Many of them are just really loud and seem to only want to be there to have fun. A lady from the school told them last week that this week she'll pick who gets to stay... I hate for them to do that but it's hard to have a Bible study when they can't hear! Then the last lunch is the 8th graders, which is a very small group. We started in James last week and Kirsten spoke. I'm afraid to speak because there are so many girls. I don't know if I will speak today or not but if you can pray that this goes well that would be great (and even for the weeks ahead). We have it every Wednesday. Thanks!

Oh, also yesterday I met with Sarah and we just talked and had a good time. :) She is SUCH a fun and sweet girl. We decided to start studying Esther together next week - which I don't think I've ever read before. Oh, and I've been coughing for about 3 weeks. But it's ok because I can still get everything done. Oh, and we have a test tomorrow that we didn't know about until yesterday! So pray I get a lot done after church tonight (the only time I have) Thanks :)

The Tour! Finally!

2008-11-17T11:33:00.000-08:00

Georgia:
We started our trip on Friday, October 10 with 14 of us in a 15-seater van. We traveled for 10 hours (I think) up to Atlanta, GA. On the way up, Doug found my camera at his feet in the van! Anyway, we had a good time walking around Atlanta that night.

The next day we went to Explorations in Antiquity Center, where they have archeological replicas from the Biblical time period. It was really great to see all these things that we'll (hopefully) get to see in Israel, except in Israel some of the places are in ruin so it was good to see what it WOULD have looked like. A lot of the things we saw there helped us understand the culture better as well as certain stories in the Bible.

The next day (Sunday) we went to a HUGE church. It looked like an airport! Basically we all sat down, knowing that the church had no idea it was 14 people bigger that day. A string quartet started playing, which was so beautiful! We were all prepared for worship. Then it began: the SHOW. And I'm not kidding - these big guys came out with glasses on, holding microphones, and all the lights went down except for lights that move around the audience. The electric guitars came out and the guys started singing (was it even singing?) "Welcome to the show" a bunch of times. (I think Doug said it was a Marilyn Manson song) It was so loud! So I decided, I wasn't at church anymore, but at a show, so I could just sit back and enjoy it. After that song they did sing 2 or 3 worship songs, but it was weird because I was still in the "concert" mode.

After that, a speaker came and talked to us for a while, which was very entertaining. He was a little funny and interesting and what he said was encouraging. The speaker used a couple of Bible verses (about the Woman who wiped Jesus' feet with her tears) to back up what he was saying, though he only spent like 5 minutes in the Bible the entire time. The thing was, even though he had a good message (I don't remember what it was), he didn't use the verses in the right context. It just didn't fit with his message!

Basically, from that experience I was reassured that seeker-friendly churches are not places for people to really grow and be convicted from the Word of God. You can disagree with me, but honestly, a pastor can tell me all he wants and it can be good and all, but I'd much rather learn what God wants me to learn from his Word. (and God can surely use a pastor to help us understand it better). The other thing is, how can God be our main focus when we’re at a “Show”? It can be difficult, for me at least. I mean, you might be able to worship God best in the setting where it’s like a concert, but it just didn’t seem like the people on the stage were giving God all the glory.

Later on that day, we went to an International House of Prayer. WHAT a DIFFERENCE! It is a church that has constant prayer and worship, all hours of the day. We went for an hour and a half, just to pray, and it was really neat. I have a hard time sitting and praying for a long time because I get so distracted, but it was still a really awesome time to talk to God. We even got to watch the next worship team come in and transition without stopping, that was really neat! The next day we prepared to go to Maryland (Which was my favorite part of the trip!), which will be in the next blog!

(Thanks Sarah-Beth for the pictures!)

God is so good to me!

2008-11-05T20:27:00.001-08:00

So I have some really amazing things that have happened to me lately. I want to tell you about them here so you can see just how good God is. :) Anyway, here goes:

After being at GCBI for about a month (I think) Shaheen and I walked around the circle (outside our building) over and over again just talking about lots of things. Every time we walked around, we passed a woman sitting on a bench, sleeping. It was really late at night and we were afraid something was wrong or something like that. We went in the center of the circle to do some homework and Shaheen told me she really wanted to give the woman a note of encouragement, and I agreed as well. We ended up praying for the woman and then going over and talking to her. The woman's name is Emily and she has a thick accent. I can't remember where she's from (in Europe). We found out that she lost her home a while back because she doesn't have a job, and that she lives in her car. We ended up both praying for Emily right there in the circle and both gave her a hug. She was such a sweet lady. She's also VERY little. Anyway, I wanted to tell you all about her long ago, but somehow I didn't.

Anyway, ever since then, Shaheen and I see her around and always give her hugs and ask her how we're doing. About a month ago, we went to church and she was there!!! We'd told her about the church but had no idea she'd actually come! She came with our landlord, Steve and Cindy! Then after our tour and after my trip home I hadn't seen her so I thought maybe she moved her car to a different area, but then I saw her at church again on Sunday! She sat with me and every once in a while she'd look at me and smile. She ended up staying for BOTH services too! Anyway, I don't think she believes in the New Testament, but she said she likes the old Testament. Emily also said that she really likes the way Pastor Randy teaches and that he's very understandable, which is so true. Anyway, today I saw Emily again and gave her a quick hug because I was on my way to church which is part of my next great thing:

Yesterday I GOT A JOB!!! I have to say that the way I got this job was entirely God. It was nothing that I did to get it. I know it's because God's trying to teach me that I need to seriously stop worrying, that He has things under control, but I kept worrying anyway. And I can just imagine God saying, "And Lindsey, I'm going to prove to you that I don't need your help either!" hehe. I was talking to Doug's girlfriend about how I'm still looking for a job, and Jojo comes over and starts nodding her head, pretending to know what we're talking about. I briefly told her, and she said "You're looking for a job? How would you like to have a job cleaning the church for around 20 hours a week, $7/hour?". Seriously, that's exactly what I was looking for. I mean, it's a LOT of work for $7/hour but who cares. I need a job and the church needs someone to clean it. So starting yesterday Jojo started teaching me. I'll be working about 3 hours per day, 5-6 days per week. It is a LOT of work, and I'm nervous, but I'm sure God just wants me to trust Him through this as well. But you know what, one of my reasons for coming this year was to grow closer to Him, so I might as well just do what He says. Anyway, I HAVE A JOB!!!

Ok, here's my last thing for the night, which is just as good as the others (as you may know, I tend to save the best for last, but in this case they're all really good). Pastor Randy has a daughter who I like a whole lot. She is very unique, very fun, and very sweet to me. She gives me lots of hugs and plays with my hair. :) At chapel on Fridays I always sit with her and her brother. I've been wanting to spend more time with her ouside of church lately to really get to know her, so finally I did the other day. It was so great and we had a couple of great conversations. Anyway, I've been thinking lately of getting together with her more and maybe studying the Bible with her. So tonight I decided to ask her if she'd like to do that with me, which she responded with an optimistic "Yes!". :) THEN here's the cool part: she told me that this morning a couple of teachers told her she needs to find someone to help keep her accountable, so she'd been thinking about it and wanted to ask me about that TONIGHT, the very same night I asked her if she wanted to get together about once a week to study the Bible together! Seriously, is that a God Thing or what? Aahhh I just can't stand it it's so amazing!

I really do have so many more things I want to tell you all but that's it for now. Those are the things that have made me so happy lately. Although I'm trying to get over being sick. I just won't stop coughing. I've had a couple of things with I'm now calling "coughing fits" because all of a sudden I'll feel the need to caugh and I can't stop. A couple of them have been scary so please just pray it just gets better...

Oh, one more thing (sorry!): Mom let me take Grandpa's Ukulele down to FL so I've been learning how to play it AS WELL AS the guitar! Seriously, I've been practicing so hard the last week or so (well, like 15 min. - an hour each day) because I'm determined I will learn. My main reason is so I can do what Nutie (Kirsten's mom) does: she's this amazing woman, full of joy, who uses her musical abilities in many different places to help lead people in worship. I can play the piano, but I cannot take a piano with me wherever I go. Seeing Nutie just made me want to be like her one day. I know that may not have much to do with the guitar, but it was enough to help me to decide once and for all that I will learn to play the guitar, although mainly chords for worship songs, as long as I can do that I'll be really glad.

Ok this is super long so I'll end it...

Here :)

p.s. The third picture is my home. We live on the left side, the Sandels live on the right. The fourth picture is Pastor Randy's daughter and I on Halloween at the lock in. The rest of the pictures are from around Sebring. I'm SOOOOOooo glad to have my camera back...

Something interesting...

2008-11-04T10:24:00.001-08:00

I wanted to tell you something interesting that I think our group as a whole have been thinking about lately:

Do you know that there are many Christians that think salvation = grace + faith + something else?

Maybe this is something you already know, and I'll bet I already knew, but I never really truly thought about it. At home, our group jokes about how some people think that salvation = grace + faith + voting republican. Now that I think of it, this is a pretty pertinent post for election day!

It's just so interesting that people actually think that because someone is a "Democrat" or a "Republican", that determines whether they really have a relationship with Jesus or not. My friend just had a conversation last night with someone who questioned if they were even saved because they were a Democrat. That is just downright ridiculous. As followers of Christ I am sure that we should not be talking to others like that, vocally questioning their salvation just because they vote one way or another.

Anyway, it's just something I've been thinking about. There's plenty more I need to write and tell you all about but I just have not yet. I hope that's alright. :) And I hope you're ok with me writing such a tiny post, haha, since I'm sure you love reading all my "novels". :P Anyway, have a great rest of the day and I'll write more later!

p.s. The pictures were taken yesterday around Sebring. If you couldn't tell, the first picture is part of a palm tree. I advise you to open them up. They're so much cooler big!

I'm Home! (Sebring)

2008-10-22T12:59:00.000-07:00

We just got home and there is SO much to tell you. I also have a lot of homework so I cannot tell you about it now. I'm just here to say that I'm safely home, Doug found my camera! (on the first day of tour), and that the trip was just amazing. There were so many different things we experienced, saw, and learned. But that, I will tell you later. Tomorrow I am going to my REAL home, back in VA (but just for the weekend), so I will be packing for that soon. (Hopefully I can do laundry... hehe)

Thanks to anyone who was praying for us. Oh, and on my one battery lifespan, I was able to take pictures almost everywhere I went. The battery died this morning after being on tour for 12 days! Well I've gotta go. Tchau!

Please pray for Pastor Randy's trip...

2008-10-08T08:46:00.000-07:00

Today we had a 3.5 hour class. We went through the second half of Revelations. I have to say that there is SO much packed in that book that it really would have been good for me to read it again before we studied it. I figured that I've read it twice before, so I didn't need to. I should know better!

Well anyway, we have our second test today. I studied a lot yesterday with the questions that Pastor Randy gave me, and even though I was nervous, I was also excited to answer the questions. We were just given the questions we have to answer for the test because Pastor Randy has to go home and prepare for his trip to Italy tomorrow. It turns out that half of it, I have already done! We have to do some things with the letters to the 7 churches in Rev. and I already studied it and marked it on my own! One part of the test is to write down anything I can find in the Bible that is about the antichrist and then where I found it. He says that plenty of people talk about the antichrist like they know all about him, but they really don't know who he is Biblically. I'm actually glad now that I never read much of the "Left Behind" series because now when I'm studying the Bible I can read it with more of a fresh mind rather than already having a view that I read about earlier. Um I don't know if that makes sense to you but that's ok. :)

Turning in applications the other day went well I think. Bed, Bath, and Beyond actually sounded interested even though I'll only be here a year. I'm turning in 2 more applications today because now I have the time (since the test won't take too long). I have been really encouraged the past couple of days. Every time I've begun to worry (about not having enough time, etc.) God shows me that I don't have to. He takes care of me. I just need to do the best I can. Like with the job issue, all I have to do is try my best to get one. It's really not my job to worry.

Well, I wanted to ask you guys to say a quick prayer for Pastor Randy. He's leaving tomorrow for Italy. He will be leading a cruise/tour there. If you could pray for these things that would be great:

1. A smooth flight
2. That the luggage will arive on time (if not, he won't have the clothes to enter certain places he needs to go, etc.)
3. The people will have a good experience there. Pastor Randy cannot guide them now because of his leg. So that the people will be understanding. Pastor Randy will be able to teach them, though, while they're on the boat.
4. He has to transfer a large amount of money over seas and that it will go smoothly.
5. And especially that Jesus will be happy with what Pastor Randy does while he's there.

Thanks! We leave for our tour on Thursday - I am so excited! I'll finally get to go to Urban Hope, meet Ben and Kristina Ogden, be close to home (but not home), maybe even see fall leaves, meet a bunch of great people, learn a lot from the churches, learn to ride in the van with 14 other people for hours! (hehe that could be fun), and more. I really am excited. Let's see what God does with our time away. :)

I'm getting back up...

2008-10-06T15:14:00.000-07:00

So I've been going through some interesting stuff. I hate using that word but that's all I can think of to explain it. I mean, everything is going really well, but emotionally, things have been a little different and the reasons are sort of hazy. Basically, there is so much I have to learn and actually put into practice. Spending time with God more is definitely one of them. It's crazy how hard it can be to set aside time with God when there is so much I need to get done. I need to prioritize better.

The last few days have been good though. I've been able to get things together a little bit and actually get some things done. But when have I spent time with God? Not as much. Though I have done something the last three days that I don't think I've done before. Pastor Randy was teaching us about spiritual warfare on Thursday (our double class day). He went in Ephesians and taught us about the things we need to arm ourselves with when we greet each day. I think almost everyone who reads the Bible knows about the belt of truth, the breastplate of righteousness, etc. but Pastor Randy taught it in such a way that made more sense. The first three that are mentioned are requirements: things we need to be armed with every day. After that, the rest are what we need if certain situations arise. Pastor Randy said that every morning he asks God to help him put on the belt of truth, because that is one of the main ways that the enemy tries to get us - by feeding us lies and getting us to believe them. Then to ask God to help him put on the breastplate of righteousness (of right choices, because that's what you can change), and to have your feet fitted with the readyness which comes from the gospel of peace (has to do with your identity - how it is in Christ). So the last couple of mornings I've been trying to start my day like that. It's been good with helping me focus on how I need to live the day. Anyway, I'm going to turn in some applications soon. I still am looking for a job and I really need one soon. God knows that. But I'm still impatient.

This Friday morning our team will pile into our 15 seater van and go on a tour for 12 days. We'll be visiting churches in GA, MD, PA, VA, and then FL. We'll be at VA beach when we're in VA so I won't be able to see people I know (My parents will be in the mountains that weekend). BUT the day after we come back I will be coming home for the weekend!!! I will be spending time with family for the majority of that time and then coming back home here in Sebring until Christmas break. I've gotta go though. ttyl!

"God is so beautiful..."

2008-09-30T11:13:00.000-07:00

(I wrote this in the back of my little Bible on Sept 29th)

"...I hear Him in the rain,
I see Him in the water,
I feel Him in the wind.
It's like His love surrounds me through the things He made, even though I'm not feeling well and I'm somewhat emotionally drained. But I look down past my tired feet and see the ripples in the water. They flow outwards, smoothly, and then I notice something. In bigger, longer ripples, it is also flowing towards me to the left. Then there's something else. I notice rain drops, which hits the water delicately to form a ring that gently moves outwards and disappears. Even though I'm fascinated by it, I notice something else. A noise that sounds like rice being poured into a bowl in a distant place: it is the rain drops falling in a million places all across the water.

It is so peaceful.

But then this big Black bird keeps coming back to annoy me with its loud crow. It distracts me from the beauty of it all. But then as I look out on the water again, I forget about the annoying bird. The water is too captivating. And the wind reminds me I am cared for. I'm not sure why, but it does. How can I forget God loves me and pays attention to me? Why should I think He pays more attention to those who are more obedient?

This beautiful lake is like my God:
He is always here waiting for me to come and be comforted and enjoy spending time with Him, but if I rarely come, won't I forget just how amazing He is? I forget just how much I need Him. Just how much He longs for me to be with Him and pour my heart out to Him. He is my Father. And He won't just let me get away with things. He can't. It's not His nature. Or else I'd never learn.

And I never realized this until the other day, but when we sin, it can keep God from blessing us the way He wants. If a dad wants to take his kids out, and then they're disobedient, how can he go ahead and take them out? Sometimes God blesses me so much that I think I'm doing everything right. I think I don't need to change. But now I know I have the wrong definition of "blessing" as well as "curse". Sometimes what seems like a blessing is really a curse, and will actually draw me away from God. A blessing would be something that makes me stronger and closer to the Lord. Maybe that's why I'm not that strong, or why I don't spend much time with God. Because I have everything I could ask for.

It's hard to hear Him when I feel like I don't need Him, so I don't even try to listen. So that is what I'm trying to do now. Listen. Pastor Randy told us if we were to get one thing out of this year, it would be to be able to hear God. I rarely spend time with God, because I get so caught up with the things I have or want to do, so no wonder I rarely hear God. But one thing I do hear constantly is how much He loves and cares for me. He wants to see me happy just like many other fathers would.

So as I'm looking at the beautiful patterns the rain is making in the water, I see a turtle pop up. I smiled. God did that. As it starts to pour and everything around me is wet but I am dry. God has a hand in that. That's like my life: I'm always the one who stays dry when it seems like everyone around me needs help. Maybe that's why I'm here. I don't need to worry anymore that something terrible will happen just because my life has been amazing. And even if something does happen, I hope I'm prepared to trust God for it. But maybe I'm just here to feel other people's pain, to cry with them, to help heal them.

God is so good. Our definition of "good" is different, though. I mean anything that draws us close to God is good. So even though today did not seem good at all, I felt bad, and was upset, it pushed me to come to this little lake in Sebring and finally talk to God. That is something I have not done in a long time. And I almost don't even want to go back (But I do love my new home). Well, it is really pouring so I'll get soaking wet on my way back (I did). haha. It is still beautiful and God did that for me."

(This picture is not from that day, even though it is the same pier --->)

A fun day in Sebring...

2008-09-27T19:39:00.001-07:00

Hi everyone! Wow am I tired, but I had such a great day. This morning our group got up and left by 9am to go to Grace Bible Church (ironically the name of my church at home). They have a program where they give out boxes of food to people for cheap, so we just helped them hand out boxes until 2-ish. I was with Stacey, Kayla, Shaheen, and Emily most of the time. The weather was absolutely perfect! At the beginning when we were just waiting, we had so much fun just playing around. We didn't even have anything to be entertained with but ourselves but we were still laughing really hard just being with each other. It was so great! Anyway, the people there ended up giving us a little of the food, and some of the adults even told Cameron that we were the most hard working group they've seen. That was really neat to hear!

Then we went to Kayla's summer home on the lake. Kayla is a student here as well and is such a neat girl! She can also be really funny :). But anyway, we all swam, went on the jet ski and had dinner. I drove the Jet Ski for the first time! I was too afraid to turn though because it seemed as if we'd fall over. But I have to say, there are some really funny stories we have not about some of us on jet skis. Especially when Shaheen (My roomate) and Jonathan went together. Oh my goodness, they are so funny together, pretty much like brother and sister. Anyway, Jonathan thought it would be funny to go over a bump (I think) and jump off with Shaheen behind him. It worked and they spent about 15 minutes trying to get back on. In the mean time, Shaheen is swimming like crazy because she thinks the Alligators are going to get her. Just imagining the situation is so funny. I guess you'd have to know them to see why.

Anyway, today was a tiring day, but a lot of fun. I can't tell how how much I love being with our group here at GCBI. Everybody's personalities together just creates such an awesome group! We act like we're all siblings now. And just to think, it's only been 7 weeks or so. Let's just say I love them all very much. I wish you could know just how amazing they are but I guess you'd have to know them personally.

When I'm in class, there are so many times when I think to myself "Oh my goodness I should write about that in my blog because I want everyone else to learn about it" and then I forget because there are so many neat things. And I have to say, at the moment I am so tired I'm not really in the mood to pull out my Bible and show you all. But I will next time. I better!

I also wanted to say that I have had some really neat conversations with the students here (that sounds so formal). They each have stories that I've already learned so much from. Stories about their walk with God mainly. It is so encouraging. It's neat to find that you're not alone. It's easy to think that I'm the only one who struggles with things, but it is so far from the truth, and it's funny that I believe it sometimes. But I am here living with such amazing (I need to find some new words) people who understand me (for the most part) and encourage me. Alright, well I really am tired so I hope that made sense!

I'm going to end it at that. But I will write more important things later. Goodnight!

Trust (Hannah's way)

2008-09-22T19:23:00.000-07:00

(The picture on the right is of me and two girls I spent the afternoon with at something called "Ascent". They were sitting alone so I spent the rest of the time with them :) Their names were Logan and Lacy)

Last night we had "The Wheel" at our church. It is a time where several different youth groups get together, worship, listen to a message, fellowship, and are encouraged to go out and actually do something in the community. Like Jason Brown says, hopefully it won't just be a wheel that goes round and round but a wheel that actually gets us somewhere. Last night Doug O. spoke on David and Goliath. It's so cool how you can take a passage like that that you've heard of all your life and STILL learn a lot from it. Doug encouraged the kids to actually do something, not to wait around for adults/parents to do it for us or for them to get us to do it. We had sign up sheets in the back for several different ministry options, including Gary's "Manual Labor Ministry" that he's starting. He is making a website for people who need work done around the area. They can just call or write Gary and people will volunteer to do the work. Can you imagine? Free labor? I wonder what Sebring will think of that! So far there were about 16 girls and 12 guys who signed up (last night) to work for people for free. I think that is so awesome! God is doing some pretty amazing things... He's changing kids hearts and a a result, they will be able to show God's love through serving others.

Well, I've been wanting to post a prayer I read in 1 Samuel a couple of weeks ago. For our test, we had to mark Hannah's Biography, which is 1 Samuel 1:1-2:21. I never knew I would, but I had a great time with it! I don't remember ever reading about her before but it's a great story. We had to come up with our own timeless principles as well. Timeless principles are meant to be principles that would apply to any person/culture at any time. They are things you could teach a group of people from the passage if you needed to. I'm going to lay out the points that I found as well as the principles Pastor Randy found. Some of them may be a little repetitive, but I figure there may be a reason for that:

My summaries aren't that great, you really have to read the Chapter to see how we came to our conclusions.

1 Samuel 1:
A man named Elkanah is married to 2 people: Peninnah and Hannah. Peninnah can have children, but Hannah cannot. Peninnah pretty much brags that she can have children and Hannah can't, so Hannah becomes even more upset. She would go up to the house of the Lord each year and would weep and not eat.

Principles:
~ Trust the Lord and run to Him when you are distressed. He will give you rest.
~ No matter what, if there is something we find our identity in that is something other than Christ, we will feel like we have a hole in our heart.

One day, Hannah prays to God and asks Him to allow her to have a child. She promises God that if she does, she will "...give him to the Lord all the days of his life...". Hannah trusts the Lord and pours her heart out to Him. She knew God was the only one who could help. While she is praying in her head, her lips were moving but no sound was coming out, so the priest (Eli) thought she was drunk. When he accused her of being drunk, she took the time to explain that she was not. Hannah understood that her testimony was important.

Principle:
~It's all about who I take my stuff to. God gives us people to trust and to talk to when we need them, but He wants us to take our problems to Him. If we only take our problems to other people an miss taking it to God, then we'd be treating Him like a distant friend who we do not confide in. God intends for Him to be first in our lives. (I struggle with this because I'm so good at confiding in other people and going to God last...)

God allows Hannah to have a child, who she named Samuel. Hannah gives God all the credit (of course) and nurses her son until he's a little older. In that time, God required his people to make certain offerings. One of the requirements was that certain animals needed to be sacrificed when the first child was born. It was sort of like you were purchasing your child back from the Lord. It was to remind you that your children really belonged to the Lord. They had other offerings like that, which were just to remind the people that what they had really all belonged to the Lord. It's all in Lamentations if you want to read them. Anyway, Hannah and her husband brought their son to the house of the Lord along with a young bull, some flour and some wine. They sacrificed the bull and dedicated Samuel to the Lord. And just as Hannah promised, she had her son stay there to worship the Lord.

Principle:
~The Lord will bless you when you trust Him.
~Keep your promises, even when they are hard.

Then Hannah sings a song of thankgsiving to the Lord (which is what I told you about). It is the coolest prayer ever!, which is why I'm going to write it down here:

1 Samuel 2:1-10:
1Then Hannah prayed and said,
"My heart exults in the LORD;
My horn is exalted in the LORD,
My mouth speaks boldly against my enemies,
Because I rejoice in Your salvation.
2"There is no one holy like the LORD,
Indeed, there is no one besides You,
Nor is there any rock like our God.
3"Boast no more so very proudly,
Do not let arrogance come out of your mouth;
For the LORD is a God of knowledge,
And with Him actions are weighed.
4"The bows of the mighty are shattered,
But the feeble gird on strength.
5"Those who were full hire themselves out for bread,
But those who were hungry cease to hunger.
Even the barren gives birth to seven,
But she who has many children languishes.
6"The LORD kills and makes alive;
He brings down to Sheol and raises up.
7"The LORD makes poor and rich;
He brings low, He also exalts.
8"He raises the poor from the dust,
He lifts the needy from the ash heap
To make them sit with nobles,
And inherit a seat of honor;
For the pillars of the earth are the LORD'S,
And He set the world on them.
9"He keeps the feet of His godly ones,
But the wicked ones are silenced in darkness;
For not by might shall a man prevail.
10"Those who contend with the LORD will be shattered;
Against them He will thunder in the heavens,
The LORD will judge the ends of the earth;
And He will give strength to His king,
And will exalt the horn of His anointed."

The next part of the story is sort of odd because it seems really random. 1 Samuel 2:12-17 talks about Eli (the priest)'s sons and how they did not know the Lord and how they dispised the offerings of the Lord, so their sin was very great before the Lord. They weren't even doing the offerings the way God had specifically told them. Then it continues the story of Hannah and how every year Hannah would visit her son and bring him new clothes. Hannah has 3 more sons and 2 daughters, because the Lord allows her to. And Samuel continues to "...grow before the Lord".

Principle:
~ God will bless you even more when you continue to trust Him and be faithful to your word.

Anyway, I just thought that all was really neat. That took me a lot longer than I intended so I will leave it at that. I am still learning a LOT and am trying to figure things out. One amazing thing is that we now have a piano in our building! So now I can practice to play during the youth group on Wed. Nights. Now we just need to figure out WHEN people can play, so that it does not cause trouble. Every sound in this building sounds loud.

I'm also currently learning that I need to TRUST better. I know what it means but it's hard to do it. I need to trust God that I will get a job. People don't like to hear that I'll only be here for a year. So I took my third run out to get applications today. I know that God will provide so I don't know WHY I'm worrying! Another thing you can pray about if you'd like is the fact that I lost my phone on Thursday and my camera on Friday, which does not make sense to me. I knew exactly where I had put them so I'm not sure why they're gone. Anyway, I'm going to go work on homework. Goodnight!

p.s. I'm realizing now how much I really can learn from Hannah. I mean, I'm sure she was told she could never have children, that it was impossible, and then God blessed her with children. How much easier will it be for me to get a job, or for my phone/camera ordeal to be fixed?
(This is my room. Shaheen, my roomate, has her things on the other side. Though we switched things around so it's a little different now.)

So Much to Learn!

2008-09-14T23:02:00.000-07:00

Wow, so much has been happening! I have been learning SO much it's crazy: so much about God, other people, and even myself. It's crazy that you can live your whole life one way, and then put yourself in a completely different situation, with completely different people, and realize that you're a little different than you thought you were. That you can react in ways you didn't think you would. It's just interesting. I'm finding I can't really look to myself or even other people for that matter to find out why, or what I should do about it. Really the only one who can truly help me is God. It's just interesting how much I am understanding about the Bible that I never understood before. Things that I thought had nothing to do with me have all to do with me.

Do you want to know something I am learning? I'm learning that when you're "squeezed", what comes out of you really is part of you, and you can't just ignore it. Let me explain something just in case that does not make sense: for a couple of days I was getting impatient at the littlest things, and I hated it. I couldn't understand why I was getting annoyed so easily at certain people or things. And a couple of times I reacted to them, completely automatically. I didn't even think about it. And again, I didn't like it. Later on I talked to someone about it and explained that "It was so weird because that's just not me. At home, I do not get annoyed or angry easily. That's just not me, I'm not like that!" But do you want to know the funny part? The next morning, Pastor Randy told us just this: We are like a tube of tooth paste. Only when we are squeezed do we really see what's inside of us. And we can't just ignore it, because it is there. And we can't say "Oh but that's really not me, that's not what's inside me".

Yeah. Don't you just love when it's like the teacher is talking straight to YOU? The funny thing is, I never talked to Pastor Randy about any of that, and he never would have known that that's what I needed to hear. It was just a principle that he saw when he read a certain passage in the Bible. Then a couple of days later a man at the church was (pretty randomly :P) teaching me about, well, teaching. He was saying that the real teacher is the Holy Spirit. And it is so true. Sometimes you just know things happen because of God and there's no doubt about it. A couple of days later Pastor Randy was teaching from the Bible and said something neat (that I can't remember exactly how to say but I'll try): When we're not walking with God, it's like we're walking in a wilderness (Heb 4:6), and how are we supposed to follow Him and what He wants for our lives if we're not walking with Him? Because of the Holy Spirit, the Bible can show you what you should be doing and what you're doing wrong. So how can I be expected to do what I should if I'm not reading the Bible and spending time with God? I'm sure this is not worded correctly, but hopefully you get my drift. If I'm not walking with God, I'm likely to fall when I'm tested. So when I'm put into situations where I would normally get frustrated or get angry, and I am walking with God, it would makes sense that I should deal with the situation with more integrity and maturity, right? "Of coooourse right!" :) (ah I miss Fiddler on the Roof...) I guess whenever I got upset at home over things, I figured I don't really need to deal with it because I'm not really like that with anyone else, which really is an absurd way of thinking. I do need to deal with things and really, God's the only one who can help me on that one. Because seriously, I don't know what I'm doing without Him. Alright, I'll make a new paragraph for you guys. :P

There are so many things running through my head, I'm not sure what else to put. I had another good point but I forgot. haha. Hmmm well I did want to tell you all something neat that Pastor Randy taught is in the first class about the Bible. He told us that one thing he would be teaching us is this: "How to get timeless principles out of other people's mail". It makes complete sense to me, but I don't know if it does to you. Basically the Bible is filled with amazing Biographies, poetries, laws, epistles, prophecies, lamentations, and wisdom (I actually just gave you the 7 different types of literature in the Bible). Much of it is not even written to you, in particular, which I think is different than what some churches teach. If we tried to read a book like Leviticus and tried to literally apply those commands to our lives, that would not be what God wants. God had a certain group of people perform those offerings, etc. for a certain time period. BUT, like Pastor Randy said, we can get timeless principles from them. Principles that can apply to anyone anywhere. Most of the principles just tell you about God, which is great because one of our commands is to know Him. But seriously, it's one of the coolest things ever. You can read something in the Bible that you never would have thought could apply to you, see how God responds in the passage, and learn what He really intends us to learn from it. It's the coolest thing!

Oh you want to know some neat bit of information? In my Bible, whenever it says the names of God they can mean different things. Now stay with me! I mean this: God=Elohim (in Hebrew) which means "strong ones" - notice the "s". The word "Elohim" is plural, which I think would make any Jew confused who didn't believe in the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Then whenever it says Lord=Adonai, which means "Master". Then there's GOD=YHWH/Adonai, and LORD=YHWH. Now obviously there are many other words to describe God. I dunno, I just thought that was pretty neat! We also learned that 97% of the Bible was originally in Hebrew and Greek, and that 3% was Aramaic.

Ahh but seriously there's so much I'm learning, and this is already so long a doubt many will read it. So if you do, you should comment me and encourage me to continue writing if you want me to ;). But I probably will anyway because I know my mother will be reading it at least. I'm sure you understand. I feel like this is a strange place to leave off.

Oh yeah one more thing. Yesterday we were at a concert helping out a little, and I just needed to get alone for a couple of minutes. I sat against a building and opened my Bible. I was thinking of reading in Ecclesiastes because Jonathan told me I should, but my Bible automatically opened to a place where I had stuck a special picture of mine (Lauren, it was the picture you gave me!). It was Job 38 ("God's Mighty Power" vv. 12-30), so I began reading:

12 “Have you ever in your life commanded the morning,
And caused the dawn to know its place,

13 That it might take hold of the ends of the earth,
And the wicked be shaken out of it?

14 “It is changed like clay under the seal;
And they stand forth like a garment.

15 “From the wicked their light is withheld,
And the uplifted arm is broken.

16 “Have you entered into the springs of the sea
Or walked in the recesses of the deep?

17 “Have the gates of death been revealed to you,
Or have you seen the gates of deep darkness?

18 “Have you understood the expanse of the earth?
Tell Me, if you know all this.

19 “Where is the way to the dwelling of light?
And darkness, where is its place,

20 That you may take it to its territory
And that you may discern the paths to its home?

21 “You know, for you were born then,
And the number of your days is great!

22 “-style: italic;">Have you entered the storehouses of the snow,
Or have you seen the storehouses of the hail,

23 Which I have reserved for the time of distress,
For the day of war and battle?

24 “Where is the way that the light is divided,
Or the east wind scattered on the earth?

25 “Who has cleft a channel for the flood,
Or a way for the thunderbolt,

26 To bring rain on a land without people,
On a desert without a man in it,

27 To satisfy the waste and desolate land
And to make the seeds of grass to sprout?

28 “Has the rain a father?
Or who has begotten the drops of dew?

29 “From whose womb has come the ice?
And the frost of heaven, who has given it birth?

30 “Water becomes hard like stone,
> And the surface of the deep is imprisoned.

I thought this was one of the neatest passages ever! Now you want to know the cool thing? This morning we sang a song in church. You might know it. Check out some of the words:

"...Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go
Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow
Who imagined the sun and gives source to its light
Yet conceals it to bring us the coolness of night
None can fathom

Indescribable, uncontainable,
You placed the stars in the sky and You know them by name
You are amazing God
All powerful, untamable,
Awestruck we fall to our knees as we humbly proclaim
You are amazing God..."

And I'm sure there's more in the rest of the chapter that inspired Christ Tomlin to write these words (in his song "Indescribable). Anyway, it may not mean much to you but I just think it's so cool how things work out like that. I mean, I've sung that song like twice all summer. Alright well I said that that was my last point so I better go. I do love and miss you guys back at home but you should know that God has me here for a reason. Well anyway I'm super tired right now so goodnight! Boa Noite!

The first of many...

2008-09-05T13:35:00.000-07:00

Hi! This is pretty neat! I'm excited to have the chance to let you all know what God is teaching me and what I've been up to. If you didn't already know, I am at a wonderful Bible institute this year in Florida. My dad and I drove here about three weeks ago and he flew back home the next day. If you'd like to take a quick look at why we're here and what we're doing, you can look at the website: http://www.gcbi.net/
Our only textbook is the Bible. Pastor Randy Smith is our teacher and also the Pastor of Grace Church of Sebring. I don't even know where to start in explaining all the incredible things we've been learning. There are so many people involved in GCBI who are so loving and giving it's incredible! We even have families in the church who make dinner for us. So four days a week we eat dinner in other people's homes.

Also, after church on Sundays our "grandparents" have us over for a big dinner. My grandparents are the Brown-Ogdens, which is pretty awesome because I like their family a lot. They have so many kids! I've been getting to know a young girl named Katy, who is in their family, and I'm starting to teach her a song on the piano that we both know (crazy enough). A guy at GCBI with me, named Doug, is also in that family too. I never knew I'd be part of such a huge family! I think there are 21 children altogether (because Mr. Ogden married Mrs. Brown last year and they both already had lots of children).

The classes during the week are so neat. Pastor Randy teaches so many amazing things in such little time that it's hard to retain it all. But he is still pretty easy to understand, which is good. I thought maybe he would be so intellectual that I'd struggle, but he is SO interesting. I love when he takes a passage in the Bible that I never really understood, and explains it in a way that makes complete sense in the end. Of course it's hard to wrap our minds around everything, but it really is so intriguing! Well I better go but I will be posting more on this site. I might even get to posting some pictures as well. I hope everyone has a good weekend!

~Lindsey

p.s. thank you Sarah-Beth for the lovely picture!